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This is my Blog...So be prepared to listen to all my pet peeves, likes and dislikes, and any other little annoying weird facts I come up with.
Friday, June 25, 2010
Things that make me laugh in romance books
Some people do not read romance books, *gasp* but I do and for the most part I really love them. But there are a few things that I'll read in a book that will make me chuckle at times. These things are as follow:
The author has given the hero's penis a whole new feel by calling it things like: an engorged, pulsing love log, or a glistening love muscle that has a length of more than 12 inches and she's not running for the door.
You feel so dirty after reading it, you make an appointment with your gynecologist just to make sure you're alright, 'down there'.
Too much Fireman imagery, such as: "Their lust burned brighter than a three alarm fire." or, "His glistening pole of fire was burning hot for her flaming loins."
It may contain a phrase that just sounds silly, like: "His tongue snaked along her back, leaving a moist trail even a snail would be proud of."
She has an orgasm just from having her toes sucked.
She becomes a sex goddess 2 minutes after having her first orgasm...ever! and teaches him a thing or two..even though she was a virgin just a few minutes ago.
The author has given the hero's penis a whole new feel by calling it things like: an engorged, pulsing love log, or a glistening love muscle that has a length of more than 12 inches and she's not running for the door.
You feel so dirty after reading it, you make an appointment with your gynecologist just to make sure you're alright, 'down there'.
Too much Fireman imagery, such as: "Their lust burned brighter than a three alarm fire." or, "His glistening pole of fire was burning hot for her flaming loins."
It may contain a phrase that just sounds silly, like: "His tongue snaked along her back, leaving a moist trail even a snail would be proud of."
She has an orgasm just from having her toes sucked.
She becomes a sex goddess 2 minutes after having her first orgasm...ever! and teaches him a thing or two..even though she was a virgin just a few minutes ago.