I've been thinking of writing an autobiography or memoir but it just never comes together for me but I figured if I write one story at a time and post it on my blog maybe once a month, I can do that. Maybe one day I'll pull all the stories together and put them in a book but for now I'll just share some stories with you about my childhood. Some of the stories will be happy, some sad and some horrific because that was my childhood. But they will all be real, things that actually happened. If it seems like something that people enjoy reading maybe I'll keep it going. These stories will not be in any kind of order, I'll just write them as they come to me.
Jose Santos Salazar Jr.
I sometimes worry about using people's full names in my stories because I don't want drama from anyone but a few months ago I Googled a few names to see if they were still around or in jail ect...
When I googled this particular name I found an obituary and saw that he had passed away in 2013. I sent the link to my brother because I figured if I was interested he would be too and he was.
The picture the obituary used was really old because this is exactly how he looked when I knew him when I was 15/16 years old and he was my mom's boyfriend. I've talked about Jose before but not a lot. He got my mom using and hooked on PCP dipped cigarettes and cocaine. We were living in Hawthorne, California. I went to Leuzinger High School in Lawndale, California. We lived very close to Compton, California. If you know California, you probably know this wasn't a great neighborhood to live. Maybe that's why my neighborhood now doesn't phase me all that much.
She went to jail for this and child neglect/abuse and spent 6 months in prison. That's when my brother and I went into foster care for a while.
Before he met my mom he had a motorcycle crash, according to him he was on the freeway going pretty fast and had an accident where he crashed. His helmet saved him from dying but he had quite a bit of brain damage. He won a $1 million dollar settlement after the accident. His mom was in charge of the money but gave him money whenever he wanted and he used it for drugs. He had an older brother, I believe his name was Raul who was in prison for something and got out in 1985.
Jose spent a lot of time at my house smoking pcp dipped cigarettes and using cocaine with my mom, and Uncle Jack and Aunt Wanda. My mom was so out of it most of the time she had no idea what was happening around her.
Jose would wait until my mom was passed out on a few occasions and he would try to climb in bed with me. Nothing ever happened because I would start yelling at him and he would leave. I told my mom but she accused me of leading him on if it happened which she told me he would never do. So me telling her went nowhere.
A couple of weeks before I turned 16 Jose's brother Raul (I believe his name was) came to our house and kept staring at me. When he found out from my mom that my birthday was coming up he kept saying he wanted to take me out that day for my birthday. This guy had just got out of prison and he looked like it. He gave me the creeps but thankfully I had a boyfriend who lived next door and I told Raul this, that I couldn't go out with him. He was mad. I told my boyfriend the next day and he told me that if the guy gave me any problems to let him know. My boyfriend was 22 years old and I was 15. Yes, I know the age difference was wild but I knew I could count on him. I told my boyfriend he was staring at me weird and gave me the creeps and he talked to Raul one day. Raul left me alone after that thankfully.
Because of the drugs my mom and Jose were arrested a bunch of times for different reasons. She would call me from jail and tell me to take care of my brother and she would be home in a few days. Jose always got them out with his money somehow. But I would sleep in the living room chair all night sitting by the phone waiting to hear from my mom. Not knowing if she would be back in a day or a few days because of the weekend. Sometimes I would call my grandma to come over because I was scared or because we needed food while we waited for my mom to get home. My grandma always came over.
My mom did finally leave him and get clean when she moved to West Virginia to live with her mom and step father. My brother and I moved there a few months later after having a horrible time living with our dad and step mother after we got out of foster care.
Links to past stories
2023
Jesus, mommy dearest was very nasty...
ReplyDeleteYes, my mom wasn't very nice when I was a kid. She got clean and we got along better when I was an adult.
Delete54 isn't a very long life these days. I guess brain damage and drugs will do that.
ReplyDeleteYour boyfriend did a better job of watching our for you than your mother did. Some people just can't handle the responsibilities of being parents.
Once my parents divorced things just went to hell in a handbasket for them. They both got hooked on drugs and it took years for them to get clean.
DeleteI’m glad at least your grandma came over when you called. Good grief on that horrendous childhood. Did you do a deep dive into what he’d been doing during his final years?
ReplyDeleteNo, I couldn't find anything else out about him.
DeleteFoster care, step mother, biological mother in jail...oh, my, you really had your share!
ReplyDeleteYes, it was a crazy time.
DeleteI'm glad your Mom's story had a happy ending. Addiction ruins not only the addict's life, but the lives of everyone around them. Glad your boyfriend was able to protect you from Raul.
ReplyDeleteMy mom did get clean and we got along before she passed away.
DeleteIt takes a lot of bravery to put your story out into public. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteThank you, I appreciate that.
DeleteInteresting that he is deceased.
ReplyDeleteI kinda thought he might be.
DeleteYou had tough 'cards dealt to you' but one has to play them the best they can ~ right ~ you are a survivor ~ and your story might help many people ~
ReplyDeleteThanks for your condolences for the death of my brother recently ~ hard to lose our loved ones.
Hugs ~
Wishing you good health, laughter and love in your days,
clm ~ A ShutterBug Explores,
aka (A Creative Harbor)
Thank you. I appreciate that.
DeleteIt's very hard to lose a loved one.
Yes, I am familiar with those city names. Yikes. Every story you tell is more horrifying than the last. It's a wonder you got a chance to grow up at all.
ReplyDeleteIt was a hard childhood but I got through it and my life is quite a bit more steady and quiet now.
DeleteGlad your boyfriend was a steady guy. A guy just out of prison and a teen girl basically unprotected by her mom is bad news.
ReplyDeleteConsidering how Jose was into drugs and that lifestyle, he lived quite a long life if he only passed in 2013.
There were a couple of people looking out for me at the time thank goodness. I'm surprised he lived as long as he did too.
DeleteOur childhoods and growing up years were polar opposites yet here we are blogging friends. And I have a feeling if I met you in real life we would still be friends.
ReplyDeleteThank you. I think I would be friends in real life with most of my blogging friends. That's why I love blogging. I've met some great people.
DeleteYour boyfriend did a much better job of protecting you than your mum...I can't wrap my head around her refusing to believe you. I understand she was pretty out of it at the time, but still. I also went back and read the previous installment in your autobiography, and it was so damn sad. I'm getting more and more amazed that you managed to grow into the woman you are now. The cards were all stacked against you.
ReplyDeleteThank you, I appreciate that. My brother keeps telling me I should write a book about our childhoods because it's just so crazy. Maybe one day I will.
DeleteWow, what a shock to find his obit. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteYeah, it was.
DeleteHe really was a mess but I'm glad you made it through to the other side of that mess.
ReplyDeleteThank you, I appreciate that.
DeleteAll the choices you made when you were young got you where you are today. A very strong woman and a survivor. I find your stories very powerful and I hope some one will benefit from reading them.
ReplyDeleteThank you. I hope that too.
DeleteI can't believe everything you went through growing up! I'm glad you had people like your grandma and your boyfriend to support you. And I'm glad you survived it all!
ReplyDeleteThank you, so am I.
DeleteWhat a creep! Can't say I'm sorry he's dead! Thank goodness your boyfriend scared his brother away! I'm so sorry you went through all this awfulness, Mary!
ReplyDeleteYes he was and his brother was just as bad. Thank you.
DeleteGood grief you certainly didn't have a good childhood but you came through it strong.
ReplyDeleteThank you.
DeleteYou have stories that make me uncomfortable. They must be read and listened to. Some rich white people have no idea what others go through.
ReplyDeleteAll the best. Thank you for telling it like it is.
I think a lot of people have no idea what happens to others who have had it hard. Thank you.
DeleteHe sounds like a real peach. Glad he never forced himself on you, but that's still a traumatic thing to go through at that age.
ReplyDeleteYeah, but at least nothing happened.
DeleteYou have had some bad experiences in life. I can't imagine.
ReplyDeleteThere have been some bad ones. But my adult life has been better.
Delete