Pain....is only temporary...

or so I'm told. Heh.

I took my daughter to the Mall today and she had decided tog et her ears pierced today , but there was another girl there ahead of us when we got there and while we waited for them to be finished we picked out the pair of earrings she wanted. So the girl was getting her ears pierced and she started crying, the mother had to hold the kids head still in order for the woman to do the other ear. All the while I'm watching my daughter's face and just had this feeling that she wouldnt go through with it. LOL SO I was bad. I asked the woman if she had any velcro restraints cause we might have to tie my daughter to the chair in order to keep her form running out of the store, LOL The woman looked horrified at me and I saw my daughters face and knew the moment she had decided not to do it. LOL We walked out of there with no ear piercing done. LMAO

Perks

Today I got in the mail my $20.00 gift certificate to Borders books and my new Cd Pink Floyds the Division Bell. I got these as perks for doing some online surveys for the past few months. I only do them every once in a while and they give me pretty cool perks. I love going into a book store and being able to buy stuff for free. I bought Incubus Dreams by Laurel K. Hamilton and a few books from Christine Feehan. Just love those Vampire Romances. Heh eheh

When Gerbils attack!!!!

Argggggg! WTF! I had my gerbils out on the couch with me tonight and they were jumping around like crazy gerbils do, when my tan colored one (Honey) comes up to me and sits on my shoulder, turns around and nibbles on my ear, well, I shushed him away from my earring, since that's what I thought he was going for, but it turns out he doesn't like to get shushed away when he is attacking a piece of jewely. He comes back, juming here and there and latches on to my dangle earring and starts a munchin. Ok, no biggie, I take it off. problem solved, right? WRONG!!!

I think he is coming up to my face to sniff me, like they do so often, when all of the sudden. CRUNCH. He latches on to my bottom lip and starts crunchin. ouch! Damn he has some sharp ass teeth. I have 2 holes in my bottom lip, I'm bleeding and here comes (spirit) The white gerbil to see what that yummy red stuff is all over my fingers and lip. ouch! little shit bit my finger trying to taste the blood. WTF! Is it a full moon? Did some vampire rodent bite my babies last night? I'm thinking what the hell is going on? They don't usually bite me. I put them back in the cage, take care of my wounds, should I get rabies shots? lol

then go back to pet them and let them know everything is allright. I can't believe Honey bit me again! I now have a sore lip a sore finger and a bite on my forearm.
Is it something in the water?

Crazy

So I went to the mall with my daughter and used out gift certificates to a shop in the mall. I used my gift certificate online a few days ago and thought I had only $5.00 left on it so I only got one thing while I was there. But the guy tells me that the ful $25.00 isstill left on it, so I got more stuff, I was happy as hell. ;) But figured that whatever I got online didn't go through. So I get home and what is waiting for me? A box of stuff from the same shop I just shopped at. Yep, somehow they never took the money off the gift certificate when I ordered online and so I go all that stuff for free, then I look in the box and there is a pair of $38.00 jeans that just happen to fit my daughter in the box that I didn't order and they aren't on the receipt, they just gave them to me by mistake! So with my $25.00 gift certificate I got $50.00 worth of merchandise and a free $38.00 pair of jeans for my daughter. How cool is that. (the shops name was left out of this post for apparent reasons.) heh heh

Optimistic VS Pessimistic

You ever wonder why some people are optomistic and others are pessimistic? I have. I myself am overly pessimistic...even negative. I'm the only one in my family to have this disease. I call it a disease because that's the way my family thinks of it, even my husband. I've endured years of therapy to try and 'fix me' I've recently come to the conclusion that there's nothing wrong with me. I stopped seeing the therapist and I'm not going back...to hell with her and her you'll be 'normal' one day. Why is it that happy people don't think you are normal unless you are happy right along with them? I have lived with this negative, pessimistic outlook all of my life and frankly I am comfortable being me. I am not going to change who I am just cause the people around me want me to. I don't want to.


By now, you are probably wondering why I have such a negative outlook on life. The reason why I have this negative outlook on life is actually rather simple: because life and humans in general do indeed suck. People die, cheat, steal, lie and kill. I realize this is a rather recursive argument, but I don't care. Why do I believe that life sucks? Because, everything I have experienced in my 35 years of life has proved to me that this is so. Sure, there is the occasional bright spot every now and then, but life on the whole still remains as horrid as ever.

Some people grow up with everything handed to them, money, love, things, all the luxuries of life and still they are not happy. That should tell you something. Life can suck even if you have everything. To me I think it is an individual thing. Why do therapists think they have to 'fix' you if you are a negative person? Maybe some people are just suppossed to be negative, like some people are born to be happy and positive. Some people are tall and some are short some are happy and some are not. That's what makes us different. We don';t live in a utopia and we never will. To me that old saying is true....Life sucks...then you die.

Post Holiday blues

Does anyone besides me get them? I've been in a bad mood all week. Could have somthing to do with my Teddy Bear Hamster dying on December 24th. She was 2 years old and I wasn't expecting it at all. I woke up and she had died in her sleep. The only thing is I'm glad if she was going to die that she went in her sleep, it's hard to take one of them to the snimal hospital and watch as they put them to sleep, or watch as they get sick, I would much rather have them die in their sleep, which doesn;t happen all that often, most of the time I have to take them to the vet.

I think The holidays just depress me, I don't know why but they do.

Dark Days

Dark Days are always there when I'm down,
It always comes when all I can do is frown.
Does it matter that another life it did take,
Wishing at times that I would never wake.
Dark Days will always be around,
Even if theres naught a sound.
Sometimes I wish I would be mistaken,
but instead I was right when it was all taken.
Dark Days will never leave my side,
for its will I have to abide.
I wish that sometime soon,
I'll be a free spirit dancing by the moon.
Dark Days cover the all the stars,
still feeling like I'm on the dreaded mars.
All to wish and hope for,
is for it... like my life... to be no more...

Mary Kirkland 2005

Christmas Tree

here's my tree.

Thoughts

Sometimes I think that I think to much. I seem to dwell on stuff a little to much. Maybe that's why I can't sleep, I don't know. I went to my Psychologists today and I think talking with her just brought up a whole lot of stuff that personally I would rather just forget. I havent spoke with my dad in a while, and I told him that I didn't want him in my life anymore. I feel guilty, but if he were just an acquaintance and not a family member I wouldnt have him anywhere near me and my family, he;s mean and he's a drunk and I can only take so much of him before I get mad and lash out. We fight constantly and i just don't see any reason to keep doing that. So I made a decision not not talk with him anymore. I know that sounds terrible, but he just got out of jail again for beating my step mom up and frankly I can't handle being around them any longer. She won't leave him and I've done all I can do. They are stessing me out way to much, so I'm letting that stress go. I just wish I didn't feel so bad about it.

Gift cards

So today was a friend of the familes b-day. I've known her for a few years and thought it would be nice since she was going to be at my mom's to get her something when I went over to my mom's place. She's more my mom's friend than mine but hey, I thought I was being nice. So I go to Target and get her a $50.00 gift certificate. I thought that was an okay b-day present for someone who's just a friend. I still think it is. I go to my mom's and my mom had her a cake, and gave her a nice silver picture frame. I give her the envelope with the gift certificate in it and when she see's it, she kinda looks at me weird. I tell her I hope she finds something she can use.
She turns to me and has the audacity to say "Well hun, I appreciate the thought but I would never wear anything from Target. Would you mind a great deal if I gave this to my 8 year old niece?"
I was so shocked that she said that. I just looked at her and told her they had some nicer clothes there, but they also had other stuff she might like,. Why not get a bottle of perfume and some munchies or a book and stock up on holiday cards or something.
She laughed and said that she couldn't go to work wearing something she bought at Target. What? Huh?!! The hell you say! She works as an accountant for gods sake, *rolling eyes sarcastically* it's not like she spends thousands of dollars on her wardrobe.! at least I don't think she does. lol Yeah I wanna go to Macys who only makes clothing for the thin people...and pay $100.00 for a scarf! I think not! Shit I should have just given her a $50.00 dollar bill, maybe she could have gotten a pair of socks with it.
Anyway she tells me that she buys all her can do what ever you like with the gift certificate, it is yours.
I then didn't say anyther damn word to the woman as she sat there saying how she couldn't eat an entire piece of cake cause the pounds, the pounds you know. Just how many pounds did she think she would take on her anorexic looking body if she ate two more bites of cake? Oh but then we can't forget if she were to gain a pound or two she wouldn't be able to fit into anthing Macys or Dillaonerds sold and she might have to buy from Target! *Gasp...the horror!*
I have to say that she did try and talk to me before I left and she commented that she liked my earrings and necklace that matched. I looked this woman right in the face and said oh you like this? Well I bought it at the Dollar store, I'm sure they still have several left if you want . LOL She just kinda gave me that OMG I would never ! Look.
Now I remember why I don't 'do' b-day parties. LOLclothing at Macys or Dillards cause there stuff is high quality. Yeah okay what ever! She also buys her cosmetics...yes she said cosmetics, why not just say make-up like an ordinary person? She buys her cosmetics at The Dillards or Macys counter and her perfume is expensive. Well aren't you special! *rolling eyes again*
My mom was staring wild eyed at me...lol I guess she thought I would say something to embarass her. but I just looked at Samantha and said well hun, you can do what ever you want with it. It's your's.
This is why I don't usually go tot birthday parties. sheesh.

Weather

Well it started out a nice morning. The weather man said we had a 30% chance for a stray thunderstorm. In reality when they say 30% chance they really mean run for cover! It's coming! Lock your doors, board up your windows, light the candles, and hope you have some food in your place cause you ain't goin anywhere for a while. Ok, well maybe it wasn't as bad as all that....but about 8:30am, this morning it started raining.....then the thunder and lightning came and then it started pouring.....30% chance my fanny!
Then all the sudden you hear tink....tink....tink..tink..tink..tink..tink...I look outside and it hailing! hail the size of gumballs. It rained, thundered and lighning and hailed for nearly 3 hours. The streets were flooded, the water was pouring off the roof and my car has little ding marks in it. All in all not bad for a 30% chance of rain.

Baby...er....Rat-sitting

I spent most of the day with my mom and took her out to lunch. She asked me to come over cause her neighbor wanted her to rat-sit her 2 rats while she went to New Mexico for 2 weeks. But my mom wouldnt do it. She kept thinking that they were going to bite her when she put her hand in their cage to feed them, but she tolf her she thought I might watch them for her while she was gone. I jumped at the chance to watch her little babies. OMG they are sooo cute. One is all white and has pink eyes. The other is black and white and has black eyes. they are only about a year old and playful as all get out. I had them on the couch with me a little while ago and they just love to run and dive into the couch cishions chasing each other and then sprint over to me and jump on me while rolling around on each other. They were running all over the place. It was so funny. You do realize that as soon as they are gone back to their mommy, I am going to have to go out and get me a couple of new babies. lol That is if my husband will stop saying he's going to move out if I get another cage. LOL

Ebay and Amazon

Well I found a new hobby. lol Selling...
My sister in law gave me a pair of brand new shoes size 7. Now what the hell am I going to do with a pair of size 7's? I wear a 10! Sheesh even my daughter is already an 8. lol So anyway I figured they might sell on Ebay. So I put them up there and I got 10 bids. lol I sold them for $40.00. Not bad for getting them for free. I told my sister in law, "You got anything else you don't want." LOL So she sent me some board games that I put up there. A couple of them were brand new still in the box, one sold allready.
I didn't think it would be that easy to sell.

I've had a few things up for sale on Amazon.com, like books and such. I've heard alot of good things about both and now I know. I Bid on my first thing on Ebay the other day and I won. I bid on a big box of books. 50 mystery paperbacks for $5.00. I was thinking hell that's a good deal. So the shipping and handling was only $10.00 so I got 50 books for $15.00 not a bad deal at all. Can't wait to get them.

What a tangled web we weave.....

It has been a crazy few days. My brother was arrested for violating the restraining order his wife got. But he really didn't violate it. He and his wife had just come from the court house where they decided to work things out in seperating what was who's and all that very amicably. They were going to go back to his place fill out all the necessay paperwork and then file it the next day. It would be cheaper than going through a divorce lawyer. They told the judge that's what they were going to do and thought it would be ok, but my brothers vengeful ex girlfriend found out they were together and called the police and brought them to his place where they arrested him for being within 100 feet of his wife, thus breaking the restraining order, even thought she was at his place. All the charges were dropped after 3 days in jail and he was finally able to go in front of the judge, but his wife had to rescind the restraining order. Now there is a restraining order on the ex girlfriend. lol I could write a damn book.

I took my daughter through one of the haunted houses. There were tooooo many strobe lights and I darn near got sick in the place.We are going to try another one, one that doesn't have all the friggin strobe lights making it hard as hell to walk down the hallways. LOL The only thing I did like about this one was the guy at the end holding the chainsaw...a real chainsaw and as you came by to exit he started it and chased you out. LOL Thankfully there was no chain on it, it was all for the sound effects but you don't knowthat at the time. lol

Just another day

Well yesterday started out normal enough. But those days almost always do. You know the days I'm talking about, the ones where everything will go wrong. So I got up at 5am, feeling beeter. My back wasn't hurting as much as it had been for the past week so I decided to be nice and give my daughter a ride to school and then go do a little shopping. So we pull into her high school and I'm about to let her out of the car when three girls walk up to the car and open it. I'm figuring they are friends of my daughter's. But they start yelling at her. Now I'm thinking, are you kidding me? I'm sitting right here, and they think they can just start calling my kid names and I'm not going to do anything about it? Well I got out of my car and went around to the passenger side, and got between one of the girls and my daughter who is still stilling in the car. This little B&tch proceds to call me a name that I won't even repeat. So I push her back with my sizeable body, never actually laying a finger on the kid, just walking towards her and making her go backwards. So my daughter gets out of the car behind me and the other two girls are behind me and they start yelling at each other. Well I had had enough and told them all either to leave or I was taking them all to the office. They actually laughed at me. LOL One of the girls, the biggest one, gets right up in my face and tells me I can't lay a hand on her but that I better pick my daughter up after school or she was going to beat her ass. Before she knew what was going on I grabbed her behind the neck, (by her jacket collar) and started walking to the office. I told her I warned her. Well just then, yeah it only took 10 minutes for the school police to show up, they rode up on their bicycles and grabbed me, making me let go of the kid. I told them what happened, pointed out the other kids and pointed out the kids who had seen what happened, then we all went to the deans office. The one girl who actually opened my car door is the one who I grabbed and she made the threats, she got suspended for 2 days and her mom got called to pick her up. The other two girls got a warning as did I for grabbing the kid. I guess I'm not allowed to touch the kid if she's coming at me. Well I dont think so. All of this happened, because my daughter happened to talk to the bigger girls boyfriend and eat lunch with him the day before. OMG, are you kidding me? They ate lunch together lets go kick her butt, sheesh how stupid. So Now I'll be driving her to school and picking her up cause she's afraid they might come after her again.

clowns

Your not afraid of clowns are you?

Adopt a nytemare

I found this little cutie at adopt a nytemare .com. Just in time for halloween.

Here's Baby

So this is baby, she is a dwarf hamster. About 3 inches long and weighs less than a pencil. lol So I was looking at her claws and just new today was going to be fun cause I was going to have to try and clip them. They were entirely too long. So the first thing I do is get a small plasic bucket and put about 1/4 inch of warm water in the bottom. I have this stuff called small animal shampoo that I added to the water, cause in their old age, well let;s just say that they get like some elderly people and they don't clean themselves as well as they did when they were young . lol And she was a stinky lil thing. I cleaned her cage while my hubby and daughter made sure she was ok in the water. I mean the water barely came up past her paws and she was running around in it. My hubby started cracking up at one ppoint when she ran to the corner of the bucket and threw herself on her back and wiggled her little butt in the water. She would thenturn over clean her face, run to the next corner and flip over again. LOL It really was funny to watch. So after I was done with her cage, I got her out of the water, and dried her off. They don't like to bed cold so we didn't run the air conditioning while she was wet and I took her in the bathroom and put her in the sink on a towel. I got the hair dryer and turned it on cool /low and started blowing some of the air on her from about 14inches back from her. She sat there just cleaning herself until she was dry. All clean, dry and smells a hell of a lot better, let me tell you. lol

Next thing...nails.
Yeah laugh..lol Think of this...a three inch ball of fur that can bite the hell out of you if she don't like what you are doing and trying to keep her still long enough so that when you clip down on the nail clippers you don't accidentally clip off a toe. But i have gotten good at this. hehehehe i have a small piece of wire cage that I hold and stick a piece of cheese through the other side so she puts her paws on the wire cage and eats the cheese with her claws nicely sticking out the other side. I just wait until she isn't moving and I can get a good piece of nail and cut. Works on the front paws but not the back ones. For that I needed help. I have my daughter give her some pudding on a spoon and I carefully clip the nails that are sticking over my daughters fingers as she eats her pudding. LOL All that took 3 hours. My day is done.

CRICKETS!!!

So for the past few days since it rained we have been inundated with crickets. Not the nice looking light colored ones with wings, we have had the bigass black ones that are ugly. Ewwww.
So this morning I get up, go in the bathroom and what do i see staring at me from the lip of the toilet? Yep you got it...Mr. buggie.
Now think of this, I'm not even awake for 5 minutes, and i do not wake up in a good moood. lol I hardly have my eyes open, my hair is a complete mess and in a tangle all around my face, and I am standing there trying to figure out what to do. So I just knew he was thinking, "go ahead lady, try and sweep my cute little buggie ass in the toilet" Yeah thats what I was thinking and thats what I tried to do. Can you believe I actually thought it would work? No such luck though. As soon as i touched his big ugly buggie body he jumped straight in the air and landed waaay to close to my foot. So i screamed and then I thought, Oh Hell No. So I quickly woke up, bent over, snatched his little buggie butt fromt the floor and all the while I'm walking over to the hamster cage I can feel him squirming around in my hand...ewww
I Open the one of the hamster cages and throw him in it, now at 5am the hamsters are up and lively. Well my mean little hamster runs around the cage chasing down the menacing cricket and finally grabs him, and starts a snackin. LMAOMy sweet little dwarf hamster (ok so not so sweet since everytime I take him out he seems to want to eat my fingers) but anyway, he starts with the crickets head and starts chowing down. LOL
Take that Mr. buggie.

As I am sitting here writing this what do i feel on my foot? Yep, you guessed it a %^$#@ cricket. Well at least I know the hamsters like them. LLMAO

Here are the boys

Here are my Gerbils. Honey and Spirit. I gave them each a pretzel just to get them to stop bouncing all over the couch so i could get a picture. lol They don't usually sit still for very long and don't even think about holding them, they'll jump right out of your hands. If I sit still on the couch they will run all over me, that is until my daughter comes over, snatches one up off the couch and tries to kiss him all over his wittle furry face. LOL