Optimistic VS Pessimistic

You ever wonder why some people are optomistic and others are pessimistic? I have. I myself am overly pessimistic...even negative. I'm the only one in my family to have this disease. I call it a disease because that's the way my family thinks of it, even my husband. I've endured years of therapy to try and 'fix me' I've recently come to the conclusion that there's nothing wrong with me. I stopped seeing the therapist and I'm not going back...to hell with her and her you'll be 'normal' one day. Why is it that happy people don't think you are normal unless you are happy right along with them? I have lived with this negative, pessimistic outlook all of my life and frankly I am comfortable being me. I am not going to change who I am just cause the people around me want me to. I don't want to.


By now, you are probably wondering why I have such a negative outlook on life. The reason why I have this negative outlook on life is actually rather simple: because life and humans in general do indeed suck. People die, cheat, steal, lie and kill. I realize this is a rather recursive argument, but I don't care. Why do I believe that life sucks? Because, everything I have experienced in my 35 years of life has proved to me that this is so. Sure, there is the occasional bright spot every now and then, but life on the whole still remains as horrid as ever.

Some people grow up with everything handed to them, money, love, things, all the luxuries of life and still they are not happy. That should tell you something. Life can suck even if you have everything. To me I think it is an individual thing. Why do therapists think they have to 'fix' you if you are a negative person? Maybe some people are just suppossed to be negative, like some people are born to be happy and positive. Some people are tall and some are short some are happy and some are not. That's what makes us different. We don';t live in a utopia and we never will. To me that old saying is true....Life sucks...then you die.

Post Holiday blues

Does anyone besides me get them? I've been in a bad mood all week. Could have somthing to do with my Teddy Bear Hamster dying on December 24th. She was 2 years old and I wasn't expecting it at all. I woke up and she had died in her sleep. The only thing is I'm glad if she was going to die that she went in her sleep, it's hard to take one of them to the snimal hospital and watch as they put them to sleep, or watch as they get sick, I would much rather have them die in their sleep, which doesn;t happen all that often, most of the time I have to take them to the vet.

I think The holidays just depress me, I don't know why but they do.

Dark Days

Dark Days are always there when I'm down,
It always comes when all I can do is frown.
Does it matter that another life it did take,
Wishing at times that I would never wake.
Dark Days will always be around,
Even if theres naught a sound.
Sometimes I wish I would be mistaken,
but instead I was right when it was all taken.
Dark Days will never leave my side,
for its will I have to abide.
I wish that sometime soon,
I'll be a free spirit dancing by the moon.
Dark Days cover the all the stars,
still feeling like I'm on the dreaded mars.
All to wish and hope for,
is for it... like my life... to be no more...

Mary Kirkland 2005

Christmas Tree

here's my tree.

Thoughts

Sometimes I think that I think to much. I seem to dwell on stuff a little to much. Maybe that's why I can't sleep, I don't know. I went to my Psychologists today and I think talking with her just brought up a whole lot of stuff that personally I would rather just forget. I havent spoke with my dad in a while, and I told him that I didn't want him in my life anymore. I feel guilty, but if he were just an acquaintance and not a family member I wouldnt have him anywhere near me and my family, he;s mean and he's a drunk and I can only take so much of him before I get mad and lash out. We fight constantly and i just don't see any reason to keep doing that. So I made a decision not not talk with him anymore. I know that sounds terrible, but he just got out of jail again for beating my step mom up and frankly I can't handle being around them any longer. She won't leave him and I've done all I can do. They are stessing me out way to much, so I'm letting that stress go. I just wish I didn't feel so bad about it.

Gift cards

So today was a friend of the familes b-day. I've known her for a few years and thought it would be nice since she was going to be at my mom's to get her something when I went over to my mom's place. She's more my mom's friend than mine but hey, I thought I was being nice. So I go to Target and get her a $50.00 gift certificate. I thought that was an okay b-day present for someone who's just a friend. I still think it is. I go to my mom's and my mom had her a cake, and gave her a nice silver picture frame. I give her the envelope with the gift certificate in it and when she see's it, she kinda looks at me weird. I tell her I hope she finds something she can use.
She turns to me and has the audacity to say "Well hun, I appreciate the thought but I would never wear anything from Target. Would you mind a great deal if I gave this to my 8 year old niece?"
I was so shocked that she said that. I just looked at her and told her they had some nicer clothes there, but they also had other stuff she might like,. Why not get a bottle of perfume and some munchies or a book and stock up on holiday cards or something.
She laughed and said that she couldn't go to work wearing something she bought at Target. What? Huh?!! The hell you say! She works as an accountant for gods sake, *rolling eyes sarcastically* it's not like she spends thousands of dollars on her wardrobe.! at least I don't think she does. lol Yeah I wanna go to Macys who only makes clothing for the thin people...and pay $100.00 for a scarf! I think not! Shit I should have just given her a $50.00 dollar bill, maybe she could have gotten a pair of socks with it.
Anyway she tells me that she buys all her can do what ever you like with the gift certificate, it is yours.
I then didn't say anyther damn word to the woman as she sat there saying how she couldn't eat an entire piece of cake cause the pounds, the pounds you know. Just how many pounds did she think she would take on her anorexic looking body if she ate two more bites of cake? Oh but then we can't forget if she were to gain a pound or two she wouldn't be able to fit into anthing Macys or Dillaonerds sold and she might have to buy from Target! *Gasp...the horror!*
I have to say that she did try and talk to me before I left and she commented that she liked my earrings and necklace that matched. I looked this woman right in the face and said oh you like this? Well I bought it at the Dollar store, I'm sure they still have several left if you want . LOL She just kinda gave me that OMG I would never ! Look.
Now I remember why I don't 'do' b-day parties. LOLclothing at Macys or Dillards cause there stuff is high quality. Yeah okay what ever! She also buys her cosmetics...yes she said cosmetics, why not just say make-up like an ordinary person? She buys her cosmetics at The Dillards or Macys counter and her perfume is expensive. Well aren't you special! *rolling eyes again*
My mom was staring wild eyed at me...lol I guess she thought I would say something to embarass her. but I just looked at Samantha and said well hun, you can do what ever you want with it. It's your's.
This is why I don't usually go tot birthday parties. sheesh.

Weather

Well it started out a nice morning. The weather man said we had a 30% chance for a stray thunderstorm. In reality when they say 30% chance they really mean run for cover! It's coming! Lock your doors, board up your windows, light the candles, and hope you have some food in your place cause you ain't goin anywhere for a while. Ok, well maybe it wasn't as bad as all that....but about 8:30am, this morning it started raining.....then the thunder and lightning came and then it started pouring.....30% chance my fanny!
Then all the sudden you hear tink....tink....tink..tink..tink..tink..tink...I look outside and it hailing! hail the size of gumballs. It rained, thundered and lighning and hailed for nearly 3 hours. The streets were flooded, the water was pouring off the roof and my car has little ding marks in it. All in all not bad for a 30% chance of rain.

Baby...er....Rat-sitting

I spent most of the day with my mom and took her out to lunch. She asked me to come over cause her neighbor wanted her to rat-sit her 2 rats while she went to New Mexico for 2 weeks. But my mom wouldnt do it. She kept thinking that they were going to bite her when she put her hand in their cage to feed them, but she tolf her she thought I might watch them for her while she was gone. I jumped at the chance to watch her little babies. OMG they are sooo cute. One is all white and has pink eyes. The other is black and white and has black eyes. they are only about a year old and playful as all get out. I had them on the couch with me a little while ago and they just love to run and dive into the couch cishions chasing each other and then sprint over to me and jump on me while rolling around on each other. They were running all over the place. It was so funny. You do realize that as soon as they are gone back to their mommy, I am going to have to go out and get me a couple of new babies. lol That is if my husband will stop saying he's going to move out if I get another cage. LOL

Ebay and Amazon

Well I found a new hobby. lol Selling...
My sister in law gave me a pair of brand new shoes size 7. Now what the hell am I going to do with a pair of size 7's? I wear a 10! Sheesh even my daughter is already an 8. lol So anyway I figured they might sell on Ebay. So I put them up there and I got 10 bids. lol I sold them for $40.00. Not bad for getting them for free. I told my sister in law, "You got anything else you don't want." LOL So she sent me some board games that I put up there. A couple of them were brand new still in the box, one sold allready.
I didn't think it would be that easy to sell.

I've had a few things up for sale on Amazon.com, like books and such. I've heard alot of good things about both and now I know. I Bid on my first thing on Ebay the other day and I won. I bid on a big box of books. 50 mystery paperbacks for $5.00. I was thinking hell that's a good deal. So the shipping and handling was only $10.00 so I got 50 books for $15.00 not a bad deal at all. Can't wait to get them.

What a tangled web we weave.....

It has been a crazy few days. My brother was arrested for violating the restraining order his wife got. But he really didn't violate it. He and his wife had just come from the court house where they decided to work things out in seperating what was who's and all that very amicably. They were going to go back to his place fill out all the necessay paperwork and then file it the next day. It would be cheaper than going through a divorce lawyer. They told the judge that's what they were going to do and thought it would be ok, but my brothers vengeful ex girlfriend found out they were together and called the police and brought them to his place where they arrested him for being within 100 feet of his wife, thus breaking the restraining order, even thought she was at his place. All the charges were dropped after 3 days in jail and he was finally able to go in front of the judge, but his wife had to rescind the restraining order. Now there is a restraining order on the ex girlfriend. lol I could write a damn book.

I took my daughter through one of the haunted houses. There were tooooo many strobe lights and I darn near got sick in the place.We are going to try another one, one that doesn't have all the friggin strobe lights making it hard as hell to walk down the hallways. LOL The only thing I did like about this one was the guy at the end holding the chainsaw...a real chainsaw and as you came by to exit he started it and chased you out. LOL Thankfully there was no chain on it, it was all for the sound effects but you don't knowthat at the time. lol

Just another day

Well yesterday started out normal enough. But those days almost always do. You know the days I'm talking about, the ones where everything will go wrong. So I got up at 5am, feeling beeter. My back wasn't hurting as much as it had been for the past week so I decided to be nice and give my daughter a ride to school and then go do a little shopping. So we pull into her high school and I'm about to let her out of the car when three girls walk up to the car and open it. I'm figuring they are friends of my daughter's. But they start yelling at her. Now I'm thinking, are you kidding me? I'm sitting right here, and they think they can just start calling my kid names and I'm not going to do anything about it? Well I got out of my car and went around to the passenger side, and got between one of the girls and my daughter who is still stilling in the car. This little B&tch proceds to call me a name that I won't even repeat. So I push her back with my sizeable body, never actually laying a finger on the kid, just walking towards her and making her go backwards. So my daughter gets out of the car behind me and the other two girls are behind me and they start yelling at each other. Well I had had enough and told them all either to leave or I was taking them all to the office. They actually laughed at me. LOL One of the girls, the biggest one, gets right up in my face and tells me I can't lay a hand on her but that I better pick my daughter up after school or she was going to beat her ass. Before she knew what was going on I grabbed her behind the neck, (by her jacket collar) and started walking to the office. I told her I warned her. Well just then, yeah it only took 10 minutes for the school police to show up, they rode up on their bicycles and grabbed me, making me let go of the kid. I told them what happened, pointed out the other kids and pointed out the kids who had seen what happened, then we all went to the deans office. The one girl who actually opened my car door is the one who I grabbed and she made the threats, she got suspended for 2 days and her mom got called to pick her up. The other two girls got a warning as did I for grabbing the kid. I guess I'm not allowed to touch the kid if she's coming at me. Well I dont think so. All of this happened, because my daughter happened to talk to the bigger girls boyfriend and eat lunch with him the day before. OMG, are you kidding me? They ate lunch together lets go kick her butt, sheesh how stupid. So Now I'll be driving her to school and picking her up cause she's afraid they might come after her again.

clowns

Your not afraid of clowns are you?

Adopt a nytemare

I found this little cutie at adopt a nytemare .com. Just in time for halloween.

Here's Baby

So this is baby, she is a dwarf hamster. About 3 inches long and weighs less than a pencil. lol So I was looking at her claws and just new today was going to be fun cause I was going to have to try and clip them. They were entirely too long. So the first thing I do is get a small plasic bucket and put about 1/4 inch of warm water in the bottom. I have this stuff called small animal shampoo that I added to the water, cause in their old age, well let;s just say that they get like some elderly people and they don't clean themselves as well as they did when they were young . lol And she was a stinky lil thing. I cleaned her cage while my hubby and daughter made sure she was ok in the water. I mean the water barely came up past her paws and she was running around in it. My hubby started cracking up at one ppoint when she ran to the corner of the bucket and threw herself on her back and wiggled her little butt in the water. She would thenturn over clean her face, run to the next corner and flip over again. LOL It really was funny to watch. So after I was done with her cage, I got her out of the water, and dried her off. They don't like to bed cold so we didn't run the air conditioning while she was wet and I took her in the bathroom and put her in the sink on a towel. I got the hair dryer and turned it on cool /low and started blowing some of the air on her from about 14inches back from her. She sat there just cleaning herself until she was dry. All clean, dry and smells a hell of a lot better, let me tell you. lol

Next thing...nails.
Yeah laugh..lol Think of this...a three inch ball of fur that can bite the hell out of you if she don't like what you are doing and trying to keep her still long enough so that when you clip down on the nail clippers you don't accidentally clip off a toe. But i have gotten good at this. hehehehe i have a small piece of wire cage that I hold and stick a piece of cheese through the other side so she puts her paws on the wire cage and eats the cheese with her claws nicely sticking out the other side. I just wait until she isn't moving and I can get a good piece of nail and cut. Works on the front paws but not the back ones. For that I needed help. I have my daughter give her some pudding on a spoon and I carefully clip the nails that are sticking over my daughters fingers as she eats her pudding. LOL All that took 3 hours. My day is done.

CRICKETS!!!

So for the past few days since it rained we have been inundated with crickets. Not the nice looking light colored ones with wings, we have had the bigass black ones that are ugly. Ewwww.
So this morning I get up, go in the bathroom and what do i see staring at me from the lip of the toilet? Yep you got it...Mr. buggie.
Now think of this, I'm not even awake for 5 minutes, and i do not wake up in a good moood. lol I hardly have my eyes open, my hair is a complete mess and in a tangle all around my face, and I am standing there trying to figure out what to do. So I just knew he was thinking, "go ahead lady, try and sweep my cute little buggie ass in the toilet" Yeah thats what I was thinking and thats what I tried to do. Can you believe I actually thought it would work? No such luck though. As soon as i touched his big ugly buggie body he jumped straight in the air and landed waaay to close to my foot. So i screamed and then I thought, Oh Hell No. So I quickly woke up, bent over, snatched his little buggie butt fromt the floor and all the while I'm walking over to the hamster cage I can feel him squirming around in my hand...ewww
I Open the one of the hamster cages and throw him in it, now at 5am the hamsters are up and lively. Well my mean little hamster runs around the cage chasing down the menacing cricket and finally grabs him, and starts a snackin. LMAOMy sweet little dwarf hamster (ok so not so sweet since everytime I take him out he seems to want to eat my fingers) but anyway, he starts with the crickets head and starts chowing down. LOL
Take that Mr. buggie.

As I am sitting here writing this what do i feel on my foot? Yep, you guessed it a %^$#@ cricket. Well at least I know the hamsters like them. LLMAO

Here are the boys

Here are my Gerbils. Honey and Spirit. I gave them each a pretzel just to get them to stop bouncing all over the couch so i could get a picture. lol They don't usually sit still for very long and don't even think about holding them, they'll jump right out of your hands. If I sit still on the couch they will run all over me, that is until my daughter comes over, snatches one up off the couch and tries to kiss him all over his wittle furry face. LOL

Arts & crafts and keeping busy

Here's one of the Dreamcatchers I made for halloween. So Far I've made 6 of them cause my mom, brother and my neighbors wanted one after seeing the 2 on my wall. At least it's keeping me busy.

The idiot next door.

So my next door neighbors are getting divorced and she took all her stuff out of the apartment. She left this poor guy with a small tv and a small night stand and his clothes. She took everything else, all the dishes, towels, everything. He's been sitting in the apartment drinking and passing out. She told me and my husband and the manager that her husband had a gun and planned on killing himself. So my husband and the apartment manager called the police and asked them to come and check on him and make sure he didn't have a gun. Well the police came out and went to the managers place and talked with them and then 10 more police cars showed up. My hubby called me and told me the police wanted me to close and lock the door and go to the other end of the apartment. 15 cops came to my next door neighbors door with their guns drawn and banged on his door yelling at him to open the door. He wouldn't and he had a security door on the door. They hadn't bothered getting the key from his wife for the security door and they couldn't get in. So they stood out there for what seemed like hours yelling at him and telling him to open the door. What happened was he passed out in the apartment and didn't hear them at the door, but they kept banging on the door anyway. Finally his wife called him on his cell phone and woke him up and he came to the door. He was put in hand cuffs and they were standing out front of my door yelling at him to tell them where his gun was, it turned out the gun was unregistered and he was taken to jail for a little while and then they took him to the adult mental facility to check him out cause he told his wife he was suicidal. They hospital let him go just a few hours after they talked to him. I guess he told them he wasn't going to do anything and they bel;ieved him or something. So now he is going to get evicted on the 1st of october and his wife is going to move back into their apartment. I was stuck in my apartment for 2 hours and when I called my husband to ask him if I could finally open the door he said the police would let me know when I could. They didn't let anyone come out of their apartment until after he was gone in the police car. I guess they didn't want anyone coming out looking at what they were doing while they had him in handcuffs and he was no danger to anyone around here. We should have been able to come out of our places alot sooner as soon as they had him in handcuffs I would ahve theought.

A very long week.

Well, it's been one hell of a long week. My step dad died last thursday and we buried him this past monday. I've spent all that time at my mom's helping her. I finally got home this morning and one of my brothers is going to stay with her over this weekend. After that she said she would be ok to be alone. I think now that we are through with the funeral, people coming in town and all the phone calls, she will be ok. I can understand her not wanting to be alone.

I know I shouldn't complain about this week, and I'm not. I'm going to rant about the stupid shit some people did this week. One in particular is my brothers newest girlfriend. She found out that my step father died in the hallway going into the bathroom, so while she was there in my moms house she refused to go in the bathroom alone. Now I can almost tolerate that. But...This was the very first time we met her. The night before the funeral my brother and I and his new girlfriend stayed with my mom at her place. Just keep in mind this is the first time we had met her. Well since she wouldn't go in the bathroom alone and wanted to spend the least amount of time in there as possible....she decides to disrobe completely in the living room and change into her nightgown. She stood there in front of me, my mom, my brother, and 2 neighbor women butt ass naked and changed her clothes. I swear I almost lost it.
She thought nothing of it and everyone in the living room was too stunned to say anything. I slept in the spare bedroom(where she could have changed her clothes) and she and my brother slept in the pull out bed in the living room. Well she decided she was tired at 8pm and made her bed up and turned the tv off in the living room and told everyone they needed to be quiet cause she needs her sleep. My mom said that it was only 8pm and she had friends over and that they would try to be quiet but if she thought she was going to have a problem she might want to get dressed and go home, well you never saw anyone turn over, shut the fuck up and go to sleep so fast.

That's all I have in me to rant about right now. I just can't believe some people can be so flippin dumb.

Strays

I found a small puppy last night when I went for my walk. Now I mean this was a small small puppy, probably not more than a few weeks old. I knocked on all the doors right around the place where I found him and no body claimed him, so I brought him home with me and fed him and gavce him some water. Poor thing whined all night. He would cry unless he was up near my neck so I slept on the couch with him. I can't keep him, my daughter is allergic to cats and dogs and sure enough last night after she held him for a few minutes she started sneezing and her eyes got all red. So this morning I'm taking him to my moms. LOL I called her last night and her dog, Bootsie, is 14 years old and she knows he probably isn't going to live more than a couple more years. I think this dog is some kind of small terrier. So she said she would take him and she said she thought a good name was Henry. At least I know he'll have a good home, my mom spoils Bootsie like crazy.

WTF is wrong with some people?

My daughter comes and asks me if she and 3 of her other friends can go to the movies last night. I said yes, but before you go I need to know what you are seeing, who's taking you, when you'll be back, what time the movie starts and ends and who's going.
I really didn't think I was asking to much. I mean all these girls are only 14 years old.
So they go back over to Tia's house and call the theatre to find out the times and how much it is. She calls me and tells me they are going to see the Cave and it ends at 7:20pm. Tia's dad was taking them and he said he would be there to pick them up at 9pm. I was like wait, 9pm? She said yeah that they wanted to go to the arcade in the the hotel and play some games. I was like it's going to be 7:30 at night and 4 teenage girls are going to be walking alone in the hotel? No this isn't a good idea. You see I know these girls and a couple of them are real bad apples. So I tell her to tell tia's dad that I expect them to be home at 8pm and I hear her tell hima and he says ok. So about 7:30 last night my daughter calls me and tells me that tia's dad called tia on her cell phne and told her they were having car trouble and he was going to be there at 9pm. I asked my daughter what they were going to do and do you know what she told me? She said well tia's dad gave us $20.00 for the arcade so were going to go play. Now tell me this......
If tia's dad had any intention at all of picking them up at 7:30 why did he give them money for the arcade?
And why didn't he just call me if he had car trouble to go and pick the kids up?
So I told my daughter to make suyre she stayed in the arcade that I would be there in a few minutes to pick them up.
I went over to tia's dads first to see if they were working on his car and of course they werent. I asked him why he didn't just call me to pick them up and he said he thought I was being to over protective. I was so pissed. I told him I was too mad to talk right then but when I got back with the kids we were going to talk. I went and picked the kids up at 8pm and of course one of them was gone. She went up on the roof. So we had to call ehr on her cell phone and she was like I don't have to come down I said well I dont have to give you a ride homw. lol So she got donw and I teold her mother what she did going on the roof and she did nothing, she said noithing. I just can't believe these parents. WTF is wrong witrh them? It's not me, I know I was right...These kids are 14 years old, anything could happen to them. So me and tias father had a long talk last night. He still thinks I am too over protective and should ahve let them stay in the arcade until 9 pm. Well thats not the problem. the problem is that he gave them money for the aracde and had no intention of picking them up when I asked and he lied to me. Thats not right. I'm sure I'll have more to right later after we talk again, cause my kid might not be able to go anywhere with him and his kid if he is going to lie to me. I may have to be the one to drive them and pick them up from now on. This is ridiculous.

little extra

My husband won a couple hundred dollars playing the slot machines yesterday. So after buying a few things we needed, we both took $50.00 for ourselves. So now I'm wondering what to go and spend it on. I've made a list of things I want to get and I always have it on hand. Cause it never fails. When I get a little money to play around with I can't think of anything I really wanted until I spent the money and then think damn, I should have got that. LOL
So I'm either going to go refresh my book supply or I'm going to go to Joannes and michaels and see what sort of halloween goodies they have on sale. Although amazon.com seems to ahve really good prices on halloween stuff right now. I need more statues and stuff to go on my shelves this year.
Well, ok. Now I just made up my mind what I'll be getting. LOL
I saw a statue of a grimm reaper at amazon for 12.99 and I think I'll start off and get that or maybe 2 of them...one for each side of the book shelf. Ok, I'm off to buy scary things....wheeeee

Question of the day

So today I got "The Changeling" in the mail from netflix. I've never seen it and had heard it was a good flick. I was amazed how scary this movie was. George C Scott was wonderful in this movie. He can change his expression with the quirk of an eyebrow.

So todays question is...
What was the last movie you saw? Did you like it?

Question of the day

So I had to call around to see if I could get a better price on car insurance. Now let me tell you I really HATE talking on the phone to people I don't know. lol Just one of those little quirks about me I guess.
So I get out the yellow pages and start thumbing through, calling number after number. Giving the same nformation over and over again. After doing this sooo many times I figured out that what I'm paying right now is about average and I see no real reason to change, much to my hubby's dismay. lol
So When my husband see's me putting the phone book away after all the calls, he picks up the papers I had been writing on to se the different prices and then starts laughing. I don't really see whats so funny so I ask him. Hey, whats so darn funny?" He looks at me and says, why did you write down all this information? You see I wrote down every possible scrap of information I might need to tell the person on the other end of the phone.

So the question of the day is this....
Before making a telephne call, do you ever reherse or write down what your going to say?

Day all to myself

I had the place all to myself all day. Ken went to help his friend steve with his truck and has been gone all day. My daughter went to her friends pool party. She even brought me back a piece of chocolate cake. Her friend has 3 hamsters and got a rat for her b-day today. She brought him over to show me and my heart just melted. He's so cute. She has a black bear hamster. He's all black except for his lil white feet. What an adorable lil guy.

I watched a movie I got from Netflix called Devour. It was kinda weird but a nice way to spend an hour and a half. lol Then I went to a website a couplde friends told me about and bought some wicca supplies. I found a really pretty wiccan necklace too.

I called my mom and listened to her tell me all about how my dad is pissed cause I refuse to talk to him again. But he said somethings to me and ken in front of our kid that were really hurtful and that's inexcusable. I really don't need someone who stays drunk 24/7 in mine or my kids life right now.

Ken and steve got back a bit ago and went back out but they dropped off 3 caneloupes and a small watermelon off before taking off again. He told me he had a sack full of cherry tomatoes for me too. Cool. Last week he brought over this huge zucchini. It was 18 inches long and had to be 10 inches round. lasted us 3 days. lol

Question of the day

If you could have the answer to ANY question. What would you ask?

Cookies.

No, I'm not talking about the kind you eat either. You know I had no idea what the hell computer cookies were. Then someone told me where they were, what they are and to delete them from time to time. lol Well, since I had no idea what in the world they were, yeah I'm computer illiterate. lol I went and looked at them when I found them. OMG!!! So I've had this computer for like 4 years now and the cookies have never been deleted. So can you imagine how many pages of cookies there were? Alot.
Not really sure if it did anything good for the pc, but it can't hurt. Right? lol

Darn, no pictures :(

2 weeks ago I got up early and went to Lorenzi Park, took my camera and took about 15 pictures of the ducks, geese, pigeons, and what ever kinda birds they have there. I think they are ducks but heck if I know. I waited a week to finally put the film in for developing and since it' s that 35 mm film that you get a free picture cd with it, it takes 7 days to come back. So I go and pick up my pictures today thinking I would ahve some good pictures and the clerk tells me that none of the pictures came out. That it looks like it was a bad roll of film. Bad roll of film? I've been buying film for a long time and this has never happened to me before. So she gave me store credit and the next roll of film will be free. So I bought another roll of film and sometime this week I plan to go to the park again and take more pictures. Then ones I had I know would have come out so good. I had like 50 birds around me, and of course the greedy geese, heck I was even hand feeding one pigoen that decided to sit on the bench with me. lol Early in the morning when nonone else is there, the ducks come out in force, I was putting bread crumbs by my feet and had ducks walking all over my feet trying to get to the bread. It was pretty cool. lol

Romi

I'm taking a few days off to be with Romi, in her last days. She is 4 1/2 . She lived a long happy life.

Flash Flood

LOL See what I have to put up with? This is my next door neighbor, who picked up a handfull of hail and chucked it at me. LOL Our entire front flooded in a matter of minutes today.

Rain and hail and thunder...oh my!

All those little white things are hail. Man it poured.

My day of shopping

I was going to post this last night but for some reason I coulnd't get on my blog, something about cookies being dosabled and javascript not enabled...blah blah blah....I'm not a computer expert so I just waitied until this morning to try again and low and behold I can post again. hmmmmm lol

I can see the question trickling in your mind at this very momentt.....what are you going to rant about this time? Well let me tell you.
I was out all day doing shopping for school clothes with my daughter. Fun fun. I wouldnt be doing this if I didn't think it was necessary, and oh was it necessary. She needed some new pants to get dirty and ruin the first day of school. I thought girls were suppossed to be neater, cleaner and quieter? Mine is loud, bubbly, happy when she shouldn't be and chatters like a crack addict! I'm not kidding. This kid can sit and talk about absolutely nothing for hours! She is bubbly happy and laughing, god I want to smack her sometimes.
Now we get home and she has to call her friends to come over and see her new clothes. Well duh! What was I thinking? These kids never seem to go away, they seem to lurk around,.lol
Now one of her friends is a total loud mouth. Now I know I can talk my ass off, but this chick takes the cake...think of me....only 100 times worst!

How fitting...

That my only child would find someone to be best freinds with that can look at a rose petal laying on the ground all my itself and find 1000 things to say about it. I'm not kidding!

Ahhh the future of america..........that is why I am pro choice!

I’m just screwed if my family ever decides to start reading my blog. Oh wait, Ken does sometimes. Hi Ken.

So since I was out all day I wasn't around to pay attention to my old Rat, Romi. She is getting up in years and just like an elderly person she has ways to tell you she is pissed at you when your not around. So Romi decided to shake the water bottle all to hell and let the water leak all over the cage, yeah it was full when I left. Then since that wasn't good enough, she decided to dump the canned dog food I gave her all over the spilled water. Yeah that was nice and smelly to clean up. She eats canned dog food cause she is old and won't chew seeds anymore. lol Yeah she's so spoiled. But oh, she also decided to take her bedding..I give her cotton like fluff to sleep on..made for small animals. But she decided to pull that out of her house and let it soak up some of the water. Maybe she was trying to clean the mess up before mommy got home. Ya think?

So I come home, listen to the kids yap about clothes, school, boys ....gawd make it stop! lol , I look over at the cage and she is looking at me, with her head hung low so her little beady black eyes are starring straight at me. Yeah I can imagine what she was thinking. "C'mon over here mommy..I have a surprise for you" LOL
So I go over, take her out and her little feet are covered with dog foodwater, nice.... clean her up and put her on her towel on the couch so I can clean out her cage. I'm not tired enough at this point..Oh no.

I'm almost done, just wiping out the cage and putting new bedding, food, and fluff..not to mention filling the water bottle and affixing it to the inside of the cage with velcro..take that Romi..try and move it now. lol
I look over and find that dear loving Romi has become a towel shredder, shredding down said towel with her teeth and paws. Oh hell no. I'm allready tired enough, I don't intend to spend the better part of the night picking towel threads off the couch and out of her claws. So I go over and take the towel away...but Romi rattie is not done...Oh no..not by a long shot. I go put everything right in the cage and get ready to put her back cause frankly I need a cup of tea. I go to get her and she's gone! But then I see the couch cushion moving. My couch has miraculously grown a Rat appendage.!
I go peek under the cushion and it seems she is cleaning under there for me. LOL She found a peanut and is curled up eating it. I picked her up and she finished her peanut and then layed her head on my arm, now how was I going to put her down after she looked up at me all sweet. So of course she spent the next 2 hours on the couch snuggled up on me while I finally had my tea and watched t.v. . lol

Full mail box

wow, my mail box was full today! I had more packages than I usually get at christmas. I do alot of surveys, online and on paper and i got my winnings today for some of them. I got $75.00 for doing the banking surveys. I got my sterling silverbracelet for doing the year long credit card survey. I got a sweater saver for getting enough points for online surveys, I got a free bottle of cortizone that I'm suppossed to try for a week then do a suvey about and get more points to get more stuff. lol
I'm a happy camper right now.

And here come the bugs......

Boy, the bugs have been coming out in droves.
Yesterday I spotted a beetle that I swear was at least 5 inches long. The biggest blackest beetle I've ever seen. I figured it was all by it's bis azz self, but what do I find crawling on the wall in my bedroom when I wake up this morning? Oh yeah, a great big black beetle!
Now bugs don't normally give me the heebie geebies, but this thing looked like it could pick my bed up and walk away with it. I went and got a glass jar, caught the lilttle booger and when I got dressed, walked his big azz across the street and put him in a tree over there. LOL
Now while I was at this tree, what do I find? Go ahead ask me what I found...
Ok, I'll tell you. At the base of this tree were ....and I'm not exaggerating here....at least 1000 dead Cicadas. As I looked down to see what I was crunching on...yeah nice visuals huh? I could not believe my eyes. Now sometimes in september you will find dead cicadas and their withered shells, but I don't think I have ever seen this many in one place before. It was sort of creepy seeing all those yellowish cicada carcasses all over the ground. Again with the nice visuals, huh? LOL

So this morning Hubby's friend comes over and he says"Hey, look at this." He opens his hand and I see the smallest Praying Mantis I've ever seen just looking up at me. It sat in his hand just tilting it's little head this way and that until he took him back outside. He said he saw something running along the rocks, that looked like a lizard...lol and he went and caught it. It was this itsy bitsy Praying Mantis. I went outside and it's still sitting on the wall now.

All of thses bugs are fine...but I just know that sometime this summer I'm gonna come across a hornet or yellow jacket...or dare I say it...KILLER BEE! Now those things just freak me out. Don't get in my way when I'm tring to get away from those flying menaces, ccause I'll mow ya over saving myself. LOL

My friend Will, posted some beautiful pics on his blog and it gave me an idea. I'll post some too. lol
Well at least it's not as hot today. It's only 109 with 38% humidity. 40% chance of storms for the rest of the weekend too. But just a few days ago out at the airport they had a record high where they get the temperature for the record books. It was 117 degrees there and 123 in most parts of the valley. Man, it was awful. Now it's just sticky.

Big news today was a small plane crashing on take off at the North las Vegas airport. There were 3 passengers and 2 people were hurt but not seriously. The only reason I bring it up is this....as soon as any kind of news happens these news channels compete for the first ones to cover what is happening. They say things and it turns out not to be true. Like they said there were only 2 passengers and it turned out to be 3. Then they said it was a 7up plane and it turned out to be a plane for the BLM (Bureau of Land Management) and the 2 passengers were smoke jumpers on their way to a fire. But the idiotic news people got some (expert) on planes live on the phone and he was saying usually only drug dealers use that kind of plane. Oh boy I bet they are in trouble now.

Then the news people n one channel were saying that some bystander drove through an airport fence and risked his own life to pull on of the passengers free and they had LIVE coverage of it. It turns out that the guy pulling the lady passenger out WAS the other passenger...#3 Boy did they have things messed up. He wasn't a bystander and he never drove his car through a fence. LOL sheesh they are in such a rush to be the 'first' to report anything they don't seem to care if they actually report the truth.

Romance novels

Well here we go again. I have something to rant about. Surprise surprise..that it was started by a male telling me that I shouldn't be doing something, namely reading that Brain trash. Well, maybe I should just get down on my knee's right now and kiss his hairy feet for straightening me out. Yeah right! I'll get right on that. Sometime in my next life.

It wouldn't be a scary mary rant if there wasn't several extra layers of weirdness - in this case, the allegation that the reading of romance novels rots the female brain from the inside out...
Well here we are crawling through the algae ridden waters of the me me me pool cause someone pissed me off.....again. Yeah but too bad it's my blog. lol

All I can say to the men out there and some women too, is if you don't like what I'm reading too bad....You can sit on your ass and watch T.V. and let your brain rot for all I care... and do I care.? Not a chance.
Do I care that you think what I'm reading is porn for women? Are you kidding me, I've come to love my porn. lol I've been told that I should put more time into doing "other" things.

Well, that would put a damper on my porn reading, heavy breathing, hours and hours of peace and quiet since the only time I get anytime to myself is when I put the earphones on and pick up a book and tone everyone else out, which is not to say that if the room were on fire that I wouldn't get myself out. Everyone for his or herself right?

My brother believes I should leave the romance books alone so more important goals can be achieved. Oh really? Like what? Should I be ironing and making sure supper is on the table like a good little wife? Don't make me slap you.

I'm sick to death of people talking about things they no nothing about. I hate it when some guy says to me" Oh, you read that crap?" Why yes I do. Have you ever read one? No? Then how do you know it's crap. Go away moron.

I don't think I'm completely right all the time, but this time about this I am. I don't make fun of people who like grizzly true crime novels. I myself like them. Just because you don't like or don't think you like something doesn't give your ignorant knuckle dragging self the right to make fun of it.

Romance novel reading is one of my guilty pleasure. Don't try and tell me you don't have a guilty pleasure. I know you do. I read romance to escape, to get away from real life for a while. But Some men and women (can't leave them out and get the men all pissy) want the authors of romance novels to get more contemporary and have us "to stupid to read anything decent" women read more up to date books with a purpose. Frankly, I don't want to read about a man who gets Ebola but in the few hours he lives falls in love with his nurse, only to give it to her too.

What would be the purpose to that you may ask.? Why thank you please do. The purpose would be to show how even a well educated woman (the nurse) when in love and in a romance novel, gets stupid and lets herself get Ebola. Yeah, As I've just proved my point this is why we aren't letting too many men write our romance novels.

Oh and let's not forget those people who think All Werewolves, were-creature, vampires and Zombies belong in horror novels. There is nothing wrong with a Vampire romance or a Werewolf Romance novel. Frankly I like those the best.

You have to be kidding

Yeah, it's 12:30 am and I'm still awake. but I had to write down what happened a couple of hours ago. Are you ready for this? LOL People, I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried. Real life is sometimes stranger than fiction.

So My hubby works apartment maintenance for the complex we live at and sometimes he comes home and will tell me about something funny that happened while he was out. So at 7 pm, he comes in laughing so hard there were tears running down his face and Tom (the apartment manager) is right behind him and is NOT laughing. He's pissed.Hubby looks at me and is trying to tell me what happened and Poor tom is still mumbling something about "I can't believe they used the washing machines."

Hubby is still laughing and so Tom finally lets me in on the joke. It seems that someone had gone into the laundry room which by the way is really small, only has 4 washers and 4 dryers in it. Well, someone went into the laundry room and for what ever reason and....are you ready for this..........................................................

"took a dump" inside one of the washers. His words not mine. LOL
Ok, so I'm looking at Tom and he's just standing there bewildered and I look at hubby like...are you kidding me? and he starts laughing all over again.

So of course being the sarcastic ass that I am. I ask "who's gonna clean it out?" LMAO!!
That's when Tom went off. He said tomorrow morning first thing he's gonna call the place they rent the machines from and have a brand new machine sent out and have THAT one removed. He's not touching that machine and neither is anyone else cause you just never know what kinds of diseases that person had. lol
He stayed at my place just annoyed all to hell for about an hour.

So as he's leaving...Yes I am a sarcastic ass. I say to him " Are you sure it wasn't a dog?" He turns around and looks at me and shakes his head and asks " Do you know any dogs that can lift a washing machine lid?"
Yeah poor tom was annoyed but I couldn't leave it alone..I say "Maybe the lid was llready up?" He gets closer to me and says through his teeth...lol "It wasn't dog shit" LMAO!!!!

I am still laughing.

Isn't fast food suppossed to be ...fast and convenient?

Don't go to ...can I say the chain name here? You betcha.......Don't go to McDonalds if you are hungyr cause they'll just mess your order up and piss you off and you'll still be hungry an hour later!!!

Ok, so I figured instead of making something for lunch and messing up my clean kitchen that is clean and needs to stay that way cause kens family is coming tomorrow to bring back my daughter form her weeks vacation....But alas that is a whole other story...

So I take my butt out in this 112 heat ...130 in the closed up car but hey, who's counting..not me.
I drive over to McDonalds cause frankly it was the closets. And go inside instead of going through the drive through cause wouldn't you know it my air conditioning in the car isn't working...big surprise there.
So I'm standing in line, of course they are training someone new at the register and there are about 6 people ahead of me. I already know what I want..I want the 2 cheeseburger meal. Now this is what happens.
I say: Can I get the 2 cheeseburger meal with extra ketchup to go please. Yes I said please I figured you better be nice to the people making your food unless you like the taste of spit.

Cashier: You want any fries with that?
I say: Uh doesn't the meal come with fries? I look at hear like it's ok, I know your new and smile.
Cashier: Uh yeah, do you want to try the cherry pie or a salad?
I say: uh, no just the cheeseburgers. ....Big mistake. I knew it as soon as I said it but figured she would be smart enough to get it. I was wrong.
Cashier: She tells me how much it is and I give her the money. Then she goes and I watch as she puts 2 cheeseburgers in a bag and hands it to me. Have a nice day she says.
I say: Umm. ..Can I have the extra ketchup for the fries...Now I say fries and emphasize them hoopeing she will get it but Nooo she doesn't. She goes underneath the drawer and gets 2 yes ....2 litle packets of ketchup and puts them in the bag. Guess she figues with no fries what the hell do I need ketchup for...right? So I lean in and say I ordered the 2 cheeseburger meal....and I just knew what was coming...
Cashier: She looks at me and says, yes and then you said you just wanted the cheeseburgers.
I say: That was in reference to whether I wanted a cherry pie. But I did want the meal..
Cashier: Ok, so she gives me the cup and a small fires and puts them in the bag and rings it up. and tells me the same amount I just paid. I give her my receipt and tell her I already paid. She looks at it and then at me and says hold on.

Cashier: She goes and gets a manager and tells her what happened and that she needs them to come and fix and cash thingie. yeah ok.

Me: I'm still standing there my food getting cold, my temper getting hotter. So when the manager comes over to fix the register and I'm still standing there and she doesn't say anything to me while she is telling how to fix this. I say Am I done here can I go now I already paid for the food thats getting colder by the minute.
Manager: I'm sorry for the wait...She's in training.

Like this is supposed to fix it all.

So I get back in my hot car with my cold soggy fries and my luke warm cheeseburgers and my coke . Ha at least my coke was cold. I made that myself. LOL

I get home and sit down to eat, ken is outside helping someone with their car. I pass him and Tom on the way in the house and he says to me..."Nice of you to ask if I wanted something"

I stopped and looked at him.. He must have know he just said the exact wrong thing cause he looks at me and smiles and says " I was just kidding, Tom is taking me to Subway for fixing his car"

LOL I look down at my bag of nearly not edible food and raise it and shake it in the air at him and make a like grrffff like noise that poor Tom has no idea how to respond to. Ken just looks at me and says :"That bad huh?"

Now some people think there are no stupid question but I can tell you that asking if things are that bad when I am acting like a deranged lunatic is a stupid question. I had decided to wing a couple cheeseburgers at ken but decided it might be a better idea to just go inside and see if anything was eatable...
It wasn't.....

Things I still want to do...

Not long ago I had a small list of things I wanted to try. Food wise. So we went and picked up some california rolls (sushi) and tried it...all I can say is ewwwwww
Then I tried bagels and cream cheese for the first time. wow, that's really good.
I ate liver pate'....again I could have done without that taste in my mouth ewwwww
I tried tofu... .bland as hell and I just don't get it. it's like eating squishy cardboard..Now why would you eat squishy cardboard?
I tasted a verrrry small piece of a jalepeno pepper. Damn near burned my mouth off. OUCH!!
I sat and tried to eat a grapefruit.. couldn't do it. Those things are sooo bitter.. gosh I feel sorry for anyone on a grapefruit diet. lol

So now I was thinking I wanted a new list...so here are things I want to do now...
send a message in a bottle.
Spend a night somewhere scary with some friends.
Get a tattoo.lol I probably won't cause Ken would kill me.
Hear bagpipes in person from a Scottish man whom I can listen talk after wards. mmmmm (love the scottish accent)
Add "In Accordance with the Prophecy" to the end of an answer a Judge asks me. LOL
Wear body paint and nothing else.
Go to wal-mart and discretely put in a box on condoms in a few elderly ladies carts while there not looking. lol

Well that's all I can think of at te moment.. but it sounds like fun.

It's gonna be a scorcher!

Just heard on the news that it's suppossed to be 114 degrees for the next 2 days.But they take the temperature in the shade at the airport so when they showed us our neighborhood weather temperature, my neighborhood's temperature was going to be 119 degree's. Dang, so this morning I got up and went and did my grocery shopping at 4am. Good grief at midnight last night it was still 80 degrees. Too damn hot. It's true that we are mostly made up of water right? Well then I surmise that if I got out in 119 degree heat my body will evaporate into steam and I will disappear. LOL Anyway, I don't feel like haveing my brain boiled this early in the summer. I'll wait to have a heat stroke with the rest of the nuts that will probably be outside later in the month.

Well tomorrow my sister in law comes and is going to take my daughter for an entire week. Yeaaaaaaa. lol
It'll be a good break for both of us. She gets to go to Disney Land and Universal Studios. I'm sure they will have a great time. Again I'm so glad I don't have to go, gosh I really hate doing stuff like that. I am happy to stay here at home and read a good book or something. I am so not an outside type person. It's a good thing that the other family memebers are though. And she gets to be there for her grandmas birthday. I had her help me make up a basket full of goodies for grandma. I'm sure she'll appreciate that. She's in an assisted living place and she said she really doesn't care for the food they serve there. lol Poor thing would rather have donuts for breakfast but she gets fruit or something. lol

Happy 4th of July

Hope everyone has a good day. I decided to stay home today. My hubby and daughter went to one of the big parks for the fireworks and festivities. Better than ezra is playing at the park and a few other bands are going to be there too. It started earlier today and is going until 9pm tonight when they set off the fireworks. Ken and my daughter left here about an hour ago and are going to stay for the fireworks tonight. I just didn't want to be there with all the people and out in this 108 degree temperature. They keep showing the park on the news. It's at a park called Desert Breeze and they called it Red White and Boom. lol They charged $12.00 for each person to get into the park and see the fireworks and the bands. They also made it impossible to park close enough to the park to see the fireworks reall good for free. Oh well.
I'm just glad i'm not out there.

This is Baby

Here's another of my babies, and her name just happens to be Baby. She is sitting there eating a small piece of pumpkin pie. She is a dwarf Roborovski hamster.