Wednesday, July 03, 2013

Twitter Wednesday!

Welcome to another Twitter Wednesday, where I pull some of the funniest tweets from my Twitter feed and post them here for you to read. As always I have left off the names and @'s so no one gets mad. :)

it's not a party until someone cries about a boy not liking them

Ah, book formatting, how I despise thee.

Only good thing about insomnia: get to meet awesome people

I don't stalk, I investigate.

I have perfected my big spider shriek

Luckily Kimye didn't have twins so they couldn't name the other one South.

Yo, everyone have a good day and don't push too hard when you fart! Be safe out there!

Our UPS guy's name is Skinner o_o

Random Fact of the Day: Mosquito’s have 47 teeth. (No wonder the bite hurts so bad... *wink*)

I spent three hours cleaning the boys' bedroom. It was ridiculous.I'm sweaty, exhausted & a little surprised we don't have bugs.

Just when you thought Kayne West couldn't be anymore of an ass...he names his daughter.

too bad you can’t get abs from laughing at your own jokes, because I would have an 8 pack

Edward Furlong arrested. Nick Stahl placed on psychiatric hold. Oh God, Skynet is finally taking out all the John Connors.

The cats are behaving nicely and sitting calmly next to each other. This is clearly a set up.

do you ever start rubbing your eyes and then it feels really good and you can’t stop so it’s like eye masturbation

I tend to say "I don't know" when I don't feel like thinking.

A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.

What does two lazy brothers + a messy house equal?

Guys... If a pokemon trainer dies, what happens to the pokemon stuck inside the pokeballs?

I can’t wait until I get that job at Starbucks because I’m going to spell everyone’s name wrong so they can’t instagram their cups