Sunday, July 31, 2011

Getting to know me *without* pictures

I thought it would be interesting to post pictures and tell you how they relate to me. *And then I deleted all the pictures on my blog that I didn't own* But left this post because it still works even without the pictures..

This first one is a picture of my old rat who died a few years ago. His name was Dusty, he was the third rat I had and having he and his brother really grew my love of rats. I now have 4 male rats and couldn't be happier with them as pets.

I used to be completely afraid of spiders. Now when I find them in my house, I pick them up and take them back outside.

For some weird reason I love grim reapers. I think it comes from my love of Halloween. I would decorate my whole apartment with them but my hubby won't let

Chocolate truffles. They are my favorite treat. I usually buy myself one box at christmas time from a place called Figis, because Figis has the best chocolate truffles I've ever had.

I am constantly listening to music. I listen to music when I am reading, writing, playing on the computer. All the time.

Skulls...I think it's the same fascination that I have with grim reapers that has made me a lover of skulls. I have a rose colored glass skull on my shelf that I find fascinating.

Computers...I am on the computer playing, writing and on fb.

Coffee,'Nuff said. lol

Dragons. I have started collecting dragons and wizards recently. I used to collect Unicorns abut now my collecting has focused to dragons. They are so cool.

I read like a mad woman. I have to many bookshelves in my little apartment that my hubby said we may need to move just so I have a room for just books. lol

Normal? Me? nope...I'm about as crazy as can be and sarcastic as

Bee's....I hate bee's. I have a phobia so bad that I literally can't stand to look at them. lol

More Because they are soo cool.

I like pictures of butterflies. I don't know why, they are so pretty. After we painted the bathroom when we first moved in here, I put rub on butterflies all over my bathroom. When my hubby walked into the bathroom when I was done, he about flipped out. LOL They butterflies stayed for a few years until we painted again.

Friday, July 29, 2011

Things that make me smile

My daughter and our rat, Hades.

Brodie peeking out from the house.

Some how my daughter got Hades to lay here with her toy duck. This is probably the cutest thing I've ever seen.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Slowly getting back to normal

Life changes so quickly and we never see some things coming. I didn't see my mother's death coming, at least not this soon and not this fast with no warning signs at all. I knew things were going to take some time and they are, I'm slowly getting out of my depressed hole that I've been in for too long. My little brother has been there for me every single day since this has happened and I love him to pieces for that. I think we are keeping each other sane by talking each day.

My little brother is coming into town next weekend and I get to see him. he's taking my daughter for a couple of weeks when his son will be with him. The two of them are just a couple of years apart in age and I think it will be good for them to have some time together after losing their grandma. My husband lost his mother just a few months ago so my daughter lost both of her grandmother's in a very short time and I know it's affected her.

I've been going through old pictures a lot lately and buying a few more photo albums to put the hundreds of new pictures I got from my mom's place. My hubby laughs because it seems I am the keeper of the photos for my family. I have over 20 large photo albums and now have about 300 more pictures to label and put in albums. I'm quickly running out of storage space for them. lol

Looking through all the pictures has been helping and I've been making scrapbooks for a few years now. I have three scrapbooks that I made in the past three years and am putting together some old pictures to make another one. Anything that will keep me busy and my mind off of things is good right now. All i can do is get through each day and hope the next one is better than the last.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

I'm back

I'm back online but not completely back to doing the things that I used to do. I just can't seem to get into them yet. My family and I buried my mother on June 30th and it's been a real living hell since then. I feel like I am walking around in a world that isn't real and my world has just fallen apart. There's nothing that can lift the darkness from my life and nothing is going to change that except maybe time.

I did not expect my mother to die this soon. My brothers and I had just been asking her to move in with my older brother less than a month ago. We wanted to to be safe where we didn't have to worry about her falling down and no one being there with her to call for help...and now she's gone. It all seems like a nightmare right now and i can't seem to pull myself out of this deep dark depressed hell I am in.

I've struggled with depression for years but I don't think I have ever felt like one should ever feel like this. I'm sure in time things will get better and the pain won't be as sharpe as it is right now, but it seems like nothing in the world will ever be right again.