Wednesday, January 29, 2014
For the next week I may not be making the rounds commenting on other blogs or responding to comments here on my blog. My family is coming into town and I'll be busy visiting and going to my grandson's 1st birthday. I will be back soon and will resume commenting and responding to comments left. I have a few blog posts ready to auto post on the days that I'm not here and hope you enjoy them.
Be back in a week!
Be back in a week!
Posted by Mary Kirkland at 4:45 PM
Welcome to another Twitter Wednesday, where I pull some of the funniest tweets from my Twitter feed and post them here for you to read. As always I have left off the names and @'s so no one gets mad. :)
Today I’m going to get caught up on twitter…HAHA! I know, right?! Sometimes I kill myself too!
Auto correct changed "bitchslap" to "but halala"...THE FUCK does but halala mean?...I need more weed for this shit.
Go ahead! It's dick on a rope! Owwwwww! Maybe I shouldn't have tied it...owwwwww..owwwww! Stop it!!
If you ever get attacked by a bear, just show it your tits.
Whenever someone says "Shut Your Pie Hole" I get really confused.
That awkward moment when you figure out it's your avi they masturbate to.
Twitter needs a "meh" button.
i went to an orgy once and it was in the dark and all the dudes there kept yelling wrong hole
My New Years resolution, was to not drink as much and be more lady like. Then my whorish mouth, told me to shut the fuck up and get Vodka!
Sometimes I drive between lanes and pretend my car is Pacman gobbling up the dashed lines.
I'm a Scorpio, and if that means something to you we probably shouldn't be friends.
The coffee is broken. I'm still tired.
I just want to live in a world where people have the self awareness and courtesy to move the hell out of the way in the grocery store.
If rain is the sky crying. ...what is snow? #headandshoulders anyone?
Relationship status: could grow a 70s pube fro and dye it blue and no one would notice
WTF happened 9 months ago to create such an ugly baby epidemic on FB right now??
Can I get a 'retweet entire timeline' button up in this bitch already?
My ex was on the news for swimming across a river in snow and 20 degree weather to avoid an arrest. So yes, you can say I know a celebrity.
I'm not fat, I prepared my body for the next ice age on purpose
If y'all could hear me blowing my nose, you would take back all the compliments. Trust me.
I like make believing my blanket is a cocoon so when I wake up I have to breakthrough to realize where I am! Fuck!!
Sure my cats talk back to me :) Either that's what's happening or I'm schizophrenic
Ugh! Really rockin' a hedgehog hairstyle today.
I never actually say hi to my friends I just make creepy faces at them from a distance
We took a vote. "I'm eating your Reese's" is now as naughty as it sounds.
I hate when you let somebody crash at your place one time, then they just keep cuddling you & never leave. I DONT EVEN KNOW THIS CATS NAME.
It's really hard to get anything done when you have the hiccups. Sweet Mary.
I can't believe I've got Terminex coming out to my house in the morning. IN JANUARY.
Chocolate flavored toothpaste coming to a shelf near you. eww
If you zigged before you zagged, did you also bada-boom before you bada-bing'ed?
that was supposed to be funny but my mom turned it into a life lesson and started yelling at me
Posted by Mary Kirkland at 12:00 AM