Friday, May 14, 2010

How To Fake it

No, I'm not talking about that! Get yur heads out of the gutter, ya bunch of pervs. lol
I'm actually talking to the depressed people out there, that are constantly asked things like, "Why don't you smile more?" or, "Is something wrong?" or "What is wrong, why are you depressed?" or "Can I do something to make you feel better?" You know all our family members, friends, co-workers, passerbys, people we come into contact with, people on the train, bus ect...

When a person is dealing with depression it's hard to put on a smile, it's really hard. But when we don't we constaly have people asking us if there's something they did wrong, if there's something they can do to make us feel better, they want to know what's wrong even when we don't know ourselves. And people who don't understand that cannot take what we are saying at face value.

Sometimes when a person is depressed they really do not know why they are depressed, they just are.

But, if you don't want to have to deal with the incessant worrying from others about how we are, there is something you can do. You can fake it.

You heard me right, just fake a smile, a laugh, a happy face.

When I was 18 years old I had a therapist tell me that if I didn't want to deal with people constantly asking what was wrong, that I should put on a facade.

What is a facade? Think of it like one of the beautiful Las vegas Hotels we have here. The front of the some of the buildings might looks like castles or Lions...but that's just a fake front of the building. The building isn't really a castle that you can go into. It's made with a special material just to look like a's a facade or fake front.

That's what you can do, fake it, put on a facade with your feelings, facial expressions, laughter..ect.

I've been doing it for more than 20 years and it works. I stopped feeling really happy quite some time ago. Most times I don't feel much of anything and it shows. I don't cry at weddings, funerals or at times when I should. I just don't feel it. I don't feel empathy for people, I can't empathize with you about how screwed up something is in your life. I know I should but it's just not there. I shut my feelings off a long time ago so I wouldn't be hurt anymore and for the most part I feel very little.

Sure there are times that I get depressed, but because it irritates me so much when people ask me what's wrong, I don't let my depression show on the out side. I put on a facade. I smile, I laugh, I talk about stupid trivial things even when I feel like punching the person in the face. Yes, I still get very angry at times.

Sometimes it actually works the way that therapist was hoping it would and all that fake smiling, laughing ect...will end up in a good or pleasant mood or something nice happeneing. It happens.

So if you are like me, put on a facade and fake it. People will stop asking you, "What's wrong?" because they will think nothings wrong.