Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Twitter Wednesday

Welcome to another Twitter Wednesday, where I pull some of the funniest tweets from my Twitter feed and post them here for you to read. As always I have left off the names and @'s so no one gets mad. :)

My stocking runneth over...O.o

Fuck you Kay commercials. BARF.

"Guns are a right and healthcare is a privilege?? Backasswards." -

Will I learn my lesson this time? Nah, I have too much fun making the mistakes ...

Humpty Dumpty sat on a firewall...

typo of the day: Snacktuary for Sanctuary. Gee, think I was hungry when I typed that?? "He ran to the Snacktuary, looking for Cheetos"

Annnd I accidentally sent that message out under my dog's account too.

Got me a glass of rum and orange. Sitting here wondering how long I should wait to eat myready meal for dinner. Fun times...

Grrr. Why is it raining? Things to do. People to see!

I never, ever want a link to a post where you shit on my book. And I certainly don't plan to post a graphic to your site.

Oh christmas tree oh christmas tree, how I hate those falling things...

I don't know why i bother making my eggs seperate from the bacon...it all ends up together on my plate, next time I'm frying it all at once in the same pan.

They have a perfume called dead writers. Who doesn't want that? :)

Editing is chaos theory in action: add in a stepped-on butterfly on page 14, discover a hurricane on page 256.

I'm fighting the laundry demons and vanquishing dust bunnies for morning excitement.

"This online store is out of electronic gift certificates. I emailed them to politely ask how that's possible."

Wake up, yawn, stretch, quick snack, sit on toilet, wash, 20 minute boggle, back to sleep. Its all good

Ewww, going to be 35°C today! Glad the humans have given us frozen water bottles to keep us nice and cool

He said, "grab your ankles and take a deep breath." I'm at the gym you naughty peeps!

PMS: when the little devil on a woman's shoulder chokes the hell out of the angel on their other shoulder and then smokes some crack.

I designed a Rubik's Cube for cats. In response, my cat looked at me like I was a moron. Dominant species, my ass.

Happy Apocalypse, everyone! Yes, your planet's about to explode but look on the bright side: NO WORK ON MONDAY! (Or ever again.)

I just realized, when I went to twitter jail, I should have let you all think I was apocalypsed.

And once again I am too drunk to drive to the liqour store and not drunk enough to pass out.

For my last day on earth I ate healthy. Now my body is rejecting it and calling me a bitch.