Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Twitter Wednesday!


Welcome to another Twitter Wednesday, where I pull some of the funniest tweets from my Twitter feed and post them here for you to read. As always I have left off the names and @'s so no one gets mad. :)

I'm really not feeling well. Well, that's possibly the least entertaining tweet of my tweeting career.

Saved my RSS feeds to my computer as well as my email subscriber list from Feedburner. I'm ready for the Googapocalypse.

What's a board game about obscure facts that only people with a lot of body hair can play? ....Trivial Hirsute.

i envy people that come up with witty comebacks on the spot because i’m gonna need at least a 3 day notice

There are a lot of very fit, shirtless young men walking by our dining spot. I didn't have to pay extra for this.

Thanks ATM fees for allowing me to buy my own money.

Overheard on the beach: "Hey, want some eye candy? This guy could be Magic Mike!"

The education system in the UK is so advance that it can take as little as 11 years to teach a child to be ignorant.

That one person in your class that you just want to smack in the face with a brick.

Adults everywhere: stop turning your kids into #FullKitWankers. Thank you

The longest five seconds in anyone's life is waiting to press the "Skip Ad" button on YouTube.

Craving a good steak and potato... Not getting that in this town.

Kale chips again with lunch. So good. Crackaliscious.

sleeping in an oversized hoodie seems like a good idea until u wake up at 2am and it feels like you’re taking a bath with satan

I have more conversations in my head than I do in real life.

Kind of want to break a glass over someone's head right now. I won't, because that's violent. Plus he's not here. But yeah…that.

Every time I look at Donald Trump's hair I feel the urge to call animal welfare.

There's a thin line between baking cookies and summoning a demon from the fourth level of Hell.

 Your stick-figure family of 6 really isn't necessary. No one sees your minivan and mistakes you for wild and single.”