Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Twitter Wednesday

Here's another installment of Twitter Wednesday. No names or @ have been used so no one can get mad..lol Here are some of the funny tweets I found in my feed this week.

It almost takes an act of God to get baby bratlet to eat. How does she grow?

"Instructions for living a life. Pay attention. Be astonished. Tell about it." — Mary Oliver

In Malawi, villagers say a college-educated woman gets 10x the bride price of illiterate girl

Anderson Cooper has come out of the closet. In less shocking news, the Forest Moon of Endor has trees.

EVERY TIME A DELIVERY GUY RETREATS IN HASTE, A DEMON GETS ITS WINGS

There's #noshame in refilling your coffee mug a second or third time. Hold your head high and sip your Nescafé with pride! Happy Monday.

FYI stupid people ~ the phrase "Things can't get any worse" is NOT a challenge. Now back off!

The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.

An engineer claims we could build Star Trek's Enterprise for the same amount we spent bailing out banks.

Sometimes writing is deeply akin to dominatrix work. Am disciplining Xmas novella this afternoon, whipping it into shape. NO SAFE WORDS.

I might be watching Adam Lambert's Whataya Want From Me video over & over. Maybe.

A fox, a kitten and a dog. I REPEAT: A FOX, A KITTEN AND A DOG. Snuggled together. Shut down the internet.

WARNING! May cause you to burn pies or lose sleep!

If a zombie invasion was to happen, what would your plan of action be?” I'd find an unprotected farm & kill my best friend.

Ignorance is bliss. Stop grinning.