Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Twitter Wednesday

Here's another installment of Twitter Wednesday where I find humorous Twitterings and post them here for you to see. The @ and names have been left off so no one gets mad. Enjoy!

Cat #3 followed me around all morning yelling at me. I tried to explain I don't speak cat, especially loud cat, to no avail

I'm a little scared. Baby bratlet just said something about her 'other me'. Dear world.... we can't handle two

I was good at math before they decided to mix the alphabet in it.

Best line I heard all weekend: Dogs are owners; cats are prisoners--Artie, Warehouse 13

When I see info mercials for the genie bra, my brain goes to weird places. Like... she rubs her breasts and odd things emerge.

Cats are circling and singing. Your milk is my milk but my milk ain't yours. Such is life when the cats outnumber you 4 to 1

cow always makes me less bitchy. I mean... where did the mad cow thing come from?

Currently wishing for dessert, sleep & self-cleaning cages

I want a 'like' button for Twitter.

That moment when your boss says prepare yourself I have lots of paper work...I want minions!

Why am I already seeing candy corn on store shelves?

Why is it called Lizard Lick Towing? I mean seriously, who wants to lick a lizard?

The Avengers gag reel is so funny I may have snotted on myself

has 84 pen names and 32 personalities-but only one knows how to kill a man with her bare hands.

My life is like a jar of Vicks Vapo rub...sticky, smelly, but good for my health.

You can't burn the candle at both end without getting burned.

I think I've reached my expiration date.

I really dislike dubstep, it sounds like someone threw pots and pans on the floor and recorded it.

Why would you give a kinder-gardener an hours worth of homework when the mom is probably going to be doing it for them?

the dumbest things I see on twitter/FB are people telling others what to do/not to do/post on twitter/FB. WHO MADE YOU GOD OF SOCIAL MEDIA?

Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor the devil says, "Oh, crap! She's up!"

So Neil Armstrong passes and Snooki goes into labor. Possibly the most horrifying example yet of one door closes, another opens.

Neil Armstrong dies and Snooki is in labor. If the 1st person to walk on the moon gets reincarnated as Snooki's kid, I'm gonna be PISSED