Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Twitter Wednesday

Here's another installment of Twitter Wednesday where I find humorous Twitterings and post them here for you to see. The @ and names have been left off so no one gets mad. Enjoy!

now she's meowing to the star wars theme song... O.o

and FYI... these are things only a mom can truly understand... "i have kids meowing in my ear." it's nothing like a cat doing it.

Friends don't let friends drink friends. :: They attack strangers.

Where Would You Like Your Nipple?

What the hell is a tardis?

Pepper is the spice of life. It makes you sneeze.

Made it all the way to 2:20PM in the white blouse before spilling coffee on it. New record!

Goldie gives out boxes of sex toys. What would be in yours?

Would you eat a donut called "Foreskin"?

I woke up at stupid o'clock this morning. O.o

This thought brought to you by sugar. Sugar--for all your fuel-for-crazysauce needs.

I sometimes think I should just write a book, call it "THIS HAS HOT VAMPIRE SEX IN IT OMG", slap it up on Amazon, and be done with it.

5 o'clock freedom!!!!!! *stares longingly at the weekend*

Born Free........Taxed to Death.

Can't see parentheses without automatically thinking smiley/frowny face.

I want a food sex filter on all of my entertainment. No dicks dipped in chocolate. No eating honey off tits. Just. No.

Also, yes my nails are painted 2 different colors. I couldn't decide between purple & blue this week. So I did both!

This timeline is giving me fits. *hits w/rolling pin* Starting from scratch w/ make-believe calendar....Monday. Tuesday. *Whack whack Whack*

I got antidepressants in my McHappy meal.

I can't be trusted to eat without making a mess. Humus all over my shirt (not a euphemism, people)

When you're stressed, You eat Ice cream, Cake, Chocolate & Sweets. Why? Because stressed spelled backwards is DESSERTS.

he sent flowers. sometimes the old-school romantic shit really does work magic. god damn i’m a lucky

That annoying moment when a package says "easy open" and you need scissors, a knife, a gun, and a life saber to open it.

I'm pretty sure God created only 6 days, Monday was definitely made by Satan.