Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Twitter Wednesday

Here's another installment of Twitter Wednesday where I find humorous Twitterings and post them here for you to see. The @ and names have been left off so no one gets mad. Enjoy!

Boy asks, "Granny, have you seen my pills, they're marked LSD". Granny replies, "Fuck the pills, have you seen the dragon in the kitchen?!"

“You don't miss the cow until the stall is empty.”

Women always worry about the things that men forget; men always worry about the things women remember……

What if you could read minds by kissing people?

OMG, lol! "Plastic Basement Bitch Who Just Writes Dirty Books" !! Best.Moniker.Ever. Put on nametag - NOW! :D

I've got it. Alien. Its my new bio only word. Or Freak. Or Freak & Geek. Wait.. I can't stop.

Whoever coined the phrase "Quiet as a mouse" has never stepped on one.

I really wish people would understand this simple thing... BCC is your friend. When you're sending a mass email... BCC is YOUR FRIEND.

Who was the guy who first looked at a cow and said 'I think I’ll drink whatever comes out of these when I squeeze ’em

When I have a headache I take two aspirins and keep away from children - just like the bottle says.

Roses are red I like wine I can't rhyme..I like grapes.

Beware of getting burned when picking up a hot date.

Jersey Shore is almost over. I don't want to know what a meatball is...

It's a 10 cup of coffee kinda day.