Wednesday, December 05, 2012

Twitter Wednesday

Welcome to another Twitter Wednesday, where I pull some of the funniest tweets from my Twitter feed and post them here for you to read. As always I have left off the names and @'s so no one gets mad. :)

Itsy, bitsy spider climbed up the water spout. Then it made a sex tape and landed its own reality TV show. The End.

Someone called me chicken. Yeah, I'm delicious.

Auto text on my kindle makes me want to stab my eyes out...

There is a difference between having a beard and not shaving for a week or so.

Oh Lindsey Lohan, really? I want to root for you, but you make it harder every day

I'm sick of these new terms in music. i heard wine it and looked it up...wine it means dance. O.o Why can't they just say dance?

Don't get mad and tell someone, "bite Me" he might be a vampire...or a nutcase that thinks he's a vampire.

NO! BAD WEATHER! STOP RAINING! I COMMAND IT! *said in a Brian Blessed voice*....and it didn't work. >:(

My kids say "I'm hungry" and I say, "What do you want to eat?" They ALWAYS respond with "What do you have?" And I want to scream. LOUD.

If wishes were degus I would have 8. And they would be trashing my study daily. Thank god degus are degus. Furry little beasties or doom.

Well, looks like I'll be going to work this morning since I didn't win the lottery. Le sigh

I'm going to assume I didn't win the lottery since hubby didn't wake me up, screaming.

We let the kids decorate our tree last night. No ornament hangs higher than 4' 9". The tree is 8 feet tall.

I'm making two pumpkin pies. One to take with me and one to eat before we leave in two days. lol

"...you’re just so damn fine that I can’t get my mouth to maintain contact with my brain long enough to hold a civilized conversation."

my son is singing jingle bells to the dog and the dog is sitting there listening to him.

Needed to tell the world that profiteroles make my stomach turn. Cream, chocolate and pastry are great. But not together in little balls

I kept seeing people talking about a kindle paper white. I thought for sure they misspelled and were talking about a kindle paperweight.

Would you ever send out emails to addresses you made up just to see who responds? I would...

sure brownies are good. But brownies covered in ice cream, chocolate fudge, nuts, and whip cream are better.

I'm thinking about giving all 'kinky' presents this year for christmas. Don't know what to get the parents though....

What makes you stop reading a book? Answer for me: The end.

I'm taking myself and my weird mood to bed. Take that as you will.

In other news, I don't think I am going to catch up with my email inbox before the year is out.

I find it offensive that it's so difficult to be offensive without people thinking I'm offensive.