Wednesday, January 09, 2013

Twitter Wednesday

Welcome to another Twitter Wednesday, where I pull some of the funniest tweets from my Twitter feed and post them here for you to read. As always I have left off the names and @'s so no one gets mad. :)

You don’t have to be French to French.

Eric to me as I walk out the door to get Veronica stripped "have fun...or whatever"

Parents can’t understand the things teens in the social network age go through. It’s harsh when you realize your secret crush is a spam bot.

Navy Guy took a car load of kids to see The Hobbit. Blissfully quiet here. TOO QUIET. *Looks around for skulking ax murderer*

God smacked me for being mean.

True friends stab you in the front.

Ok - who wants to walk the dog for me? ... I'll pay you in cookies.

Some of us are like wheelbarrows -only useful when pushed, and very easily upset.

This is kinda pathetic. My car is stuck so I had to call AAA. The sad part is I'm stuck in my driveway.

I am such a dork I'm not even going to tell you what I just did. *facepalm*

I tried to wink and frown at the same time just now and seriously I may have pulled something in my face.

Just read that boogers are good for you. My kids should never get sick again then. O.o

I’m not going to be someone’s little woman. I’m too independent for that.

Sometimes you just have to pee in the sink.

I've eaten so much bacon this week I might start oinking.

I should never tweet without my contacts. I'm blind as a bat

I got sex toys for christmas...

I don't make resolutions anymore. I could never keep them anyway.

I love the salvatore brothers. I want to have a threesome with them..LOL

My son just informed me he has saliva in his mouth...I love teachers.

It's all about perspective. For instance, if gangsters hang you upside down from a bridge, chances are you're gonna see things their way.

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

I saw a man at the store today. He was six alarm sexy!