Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Twitter Wednesday!

Welcome to another Twitter Wednesday, where I pull some of the funniest tweets from my Twitter feed and post them here for you to read. As always I have left off the names and @'s so no one gets mad. :)

Not sure what "sequestration" means but if it involves sticking Congress in a closet with only one pail to pee in, I am okay with it

I got all the packages I was expecting so not sure why I got a gift from someone I don't know for an item I don't want.

I'd like to say HOLY F-ing BLEEP BLEEP the price on beef tenderloin was BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP

It's always good to feed the minions in the house :)

The puppy is coiled energy this morning. She's making me tired just watching her!

too many new writers have the "write it and the will come" mentality, I think.

shopping all done :) my family gets to eat. They'll be pleased.

all done with tearing apart kitchen and putting it all back together the right way. Yes, I'm a freak like that

if I wanted to get a book for the sole purpose of editing someone else's work, I'd be a freaking editor. but I don't

horrified at # of selfpub authors I see on forums saying they don't NEED editing and won't pay for it.

Spiders are more afraid of you than you are of them. Except the dangerous ones, of course. Those bastards are just hiding and waiting.

Turns out my dentist's appointment is tomorrow. Back to the torture session.

Watching Battleship. I think Megatron from Transformers hijacked this movie.

You know when dogs just start barking for no reason? Yeah, that's the Force.

I think I use parentheses too much (seriously).

I seriously fail to understand why Bravo keeps shoving Thirsty Resnick at the public who doesn't give a thimbleful of fuck about her

I can never spell unconscious right the first time. Which is a problem, since I tend to knock my characters out a lot.

B-E-F-O-R-E not b4. We speak English not fucking bingo.

Democrats all over America must have a tingle in their diaper after watching their Messiah speak..

If Rubio didn't want to get dry-mouth in the middle of his speech, he shouldn't have smoked that huge joint beforehand.

Rubio: Ask not what your country... OH GOD I'M THIRSTY

I want to be there when karma ass fucks you with a cactus.

If Jim has 50 chocolate bars, and eats 45, what does he have? Diabetes. Jim has diabetes.

My instructor at the gym today (a female, mind you) had a tank top that said: "This isn't sweat. It's liquid awesome!" I like it ;)

Ring Pops and Cheez Puffs!