Wednesday, March 06, 2013

Twitter Wednesday!

Welcome to another Twitter Wednesday, where I pull some of the funniest tweets from my Twitter feed and post them here for you to read. As always I have left off the names and @'s so no one gets mad. :)

"America is for everyone who believes in freedom. Now let's go get some aliens." --Lincoln

I'm a fb Noob, no one told me that everything I put on there could be seen by all my friends. I better unlike those 'bad' pages. lol

"Outside" -- The wide open, uncomfortable space when you leave your dwelling, where there's a big, hot thing in the sky...

Man. I need a vacation from my vacation. Still feel wiped.

it's Hot in Australia..o.o

From the moment I saw you, I knew I was gonna spend the rest of my life avoiding you.

Damon is hott.

There's a Subway sandwich shop being built across the street from me. Well, there goes the diet.

I keep seeing all these tweets about what people are fixing for dinner &...I haven't even had breakfast yet. :'(

Today an elderly dude on a walking frame asked me if I'm an author. Turns out he sits in the corner reading dirty books on his Kindle.

Currently a coffee-guzzling nanny, carer, cleaner, writer, artist, crazed house hunter, lunatic pram pusher, marketer... Oh, and chef! :-)

.@burgerking gets hacked. Picturing an Ocean's 11 style heist with the Clooney/Pitt/Damon roles played by Hamburgler/Grimace/Mayor McCheese.

Why is there a little 1 by my Chrome icon?? Is it watching me??

I have squeeful excitement stuffs... But I have to be quiet.

I am a recovering potato-chips-a-holic...but I relapse frequetly

Stop complaining about being single. We have bigger problems here. Like why McDonald’s doesn’t serve breakfast after 10:30.

I know I shouldn't find this Burger King fiasco funny -- but it is kind hilarious. I wonder if they'll come out & admit they serve Horse now

I know the names of maybe two drivers, and don't care who wins. I like the PEW PEW PEW.

I took off my glasses & can't find them. Hate that! (Yes, I checked top of my head first. I have totally done that!)

Mr is making mashed potatoes for the first time. I'm concerned.

Airfare update in my inbox: Portland to Kahului, Maui - $352 RT. Vacation Gods...do not TEMPT me with this right now!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, I know what bubble bath is, but what the heck is body frosting scrub?

I've seen the truth - and it makes absolutely no sense.......

Wow, this kid just called his brother an ugly ghetto rat for kicking him in the leg.

oh god, and listen, the door to door meat salesman is in my neighborhood. I can't even that this is a real thing

4yo coming to see me "Whoa! What happened to your office?" Me: Taxes.

MAMA LEAVES BUTT TWEETS ALL OVER MY PAGE

That time I was an insomniac 15 years ago I could have used you, twitter.

Yes. You can induce a *yawn* with digital text. It's that catchy! *YAWN*