Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Twitter Wednesday!

Welcome to another Twitter Wednesday, where I pull some of the funniest tweets from my Twitter feed and post them here for you to read. As always I have left off the names and @'s so no one gets mad. :)

We introduced Trin to Babylon5 today. She loved it! Family that geeks together, has fun together!

Feels weird to think of 90's songs as oldies. But that's what my great nephew called my STP CD. Ouch.

Next time I try booking a 6am flight, somebody stop me. We got up at 3:30am, no shower, and barely made the flight.

Coffee and bagel. Nectar of the convention gods

a real broad rolls her own tampons.

If I get called for a trial at the start of the match, one of you will have to bail me out. Thanks

I chain myself to my table in the basement at Dragon*Con when I'm not assaulting men with my leaf blower.

oops, just lost an hour reading pie porn. Gotta get back to work

Yesterday's return to coffee killed my throat, so today I started a cold brew. *gazes at pitcher for 24 hours*

I can't WAIT until the 15th. Gonna get me half price box of assorted chocolates! ooooh I can SMELL IT!

Tonight I exchanged booger stories with my husband. I feel that I have chosen well.

That's what my mom said. She said 33 is a productive year. Just don't fuck up and get yourself killed at the end like Jesus.

pizza and coffee for breakfast. Being 33 is AWESOME! Later, there is cake. (No really, shut up, it's in my fridge)

I'm going to stop watching weather forecasts. Every time I look, it gets worse. Our only hope of preventing near-term Ice Age?

I am never going to tweet when I'm in the bathroom again. I do not like my phone whistling at me when I'm on the toilet.

Leftover rice pudding, I can hear you calling my name but I finally digested my food baby. You can just shut your face.

Popcorn and Beef Jerky should come with sample sizes of dental floss.

I'd like a 5 dollar footlong"....."That'll be $7.55"....."Bitch what?"

Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?

If I could convince Mr Mandy to say "make it so" right after he makes a sexual demand I'd soooo do him. What? Don't judge.

Wait. The Sedona vortex is basically a Hell Mouth, right? I'm gonna be pissed if it's not.

If I really told people what was on my mind. I'd surely be institutionalized or wealthy by now..

so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed

I got popcorn & milkduds. Party animal

Woman next to me has been humming for a half-hour. I'm getting twitchy

Sneezing five times while merging onto the expressway is a sure fire way to pee yourself a little from fear.

And then Satan said, "Put the alphabet in math..."

The store I work at sells caffeinated beef jerky.

What's next? "Energy Ketchup!" "No-Doze-Lunchables!" "Crack-Dusted Bath-Salts-Flavored Cheezits!"

Grocery store was giving away "sport beans," or "energizing jelly beans." Don't people just drink coffee or gobble fistfuls of meth anymore?

Daylight Savings should be at 4 p.m. on a Monday afternoon!