Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Twitter Wednesday!

Welcome to another Twitter Wednesday, where I pull some of the funniest tweets from my Twitter feed and post them here for you to read. As always I have left off the names and @'s so no one gets mad. :)

The season on Big Brother...everyone has a meltdown and no one gets any money. LOL 

Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone

My dogs have no fashion sense. They pick out the same outfits everyday.

I'm not arguing, I'm explaining why I'm right.

notahoe: notahoe: wtf is morning wood Thank you that’s exactly what I thought LOL

"Okay. Okay. Okay. Aaaaalright. Okay. Okay, bye. Okay. Bye." - someone on the phone with their mother.

When are the tv stations finally going to get rid of the soap operas? We have cable now. 

I tried making cookies, instead I made little cakes. How does that happen?

My daughter told me my butt was bigger than my heart. I told her that was hateful. She said yeah, but it's funny. 

When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.

My hobbies include sleeping and disappointing everyone close to me.

I'm still listening to the Bee Gee's. What year is it anywway?

Don't send me a ;) face and then wonder why I show up at your house naked.

I had a really bad dream last night of TheConjuring omg, I haven't even watched it & I'm already having nightmares!!!

If you saw what I just did to this jar of nutella you would totally want to be my boyfriend.

My body is a temple and my temple wants a cheeseburger.

Today's Generation: "Omg my parents never let me have anything." via iPhone.

My dog likes my cooking more than my husband does. I may need to get a divorce.