Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Twitter Wednesday!

Welcome to another Twitter Wednesday, where I pull some of the funniest tweets from my Twitter feed and post them here for you to read. As always I have left off the names and @'s so no one gets mad. :)

If being a professional writer was the same as writing papers in college that would seriously suck.

How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb? ALL of them. One to screw it in & the rest to tweet about it.

I hate mosquitoes! I mean, I know I'm delicious but damn.

Remember when you said you'd never tweet again? -Twitter

1% battery left and you run like a ninja to get your charger.

In twelve hours I'm having Cracker Barrel. Come hell or high water, I'm eating freaking fried catfish and grits and biscuits and gravy.

Can we take a moment to appreciate that both Back to School and Halloween items are out on store shelves? WTF world? It was just July 4th!

I had some kind of Wolverine burger, which disappointingly was a burger based on the new movie, not made of actual ground wolverine.

Karma has no menu. You get served what you deserve.

Watching Full House was a mistake. I'm craving animal crackers now.

My husband is outside, running around w/ salt killing slugs. Not sure what he has against slugs.

"Fat shaming" is a new term. But I'm not ashamed of my fat. It's taken a lot of donuts to get this belly. 

Okay, must go for a while!! Time to review for exam...baibai twitter *sniffles* it will be a hard couple hours without you

I confess to being the only person in WA who's never been in Costco, although neighbors even bought a CAR from them.

sleep now goodnight humans of twitter I'll likely digest you in one of my nine hell-stomachs in the morning.

How the hell did I lose 10 twitter followers in 1 day? Did I say too many bad words or something..shit! Oops..

Someone just wrote, "EEEP!" Now is that a good or bad sighn?

love this line"how high you stand isn't as important as how magnificent you are." Can you guess....I am not tall.

I just dipped my banana in chocolate sauce and am letting it cool. Hubby came in, saw it and gave me the wiggly eyebrow. LOL