Wednesday, August 07, 2013

Twitter Wednesday!


Welcome to another Twitter Wednesday, where I pull some of the funniest tweets from my Twitter feed and post them here for you to read. As always I have left off the names and @'s so no one gets mad. :)

Bacteria keeps finding its way into our fresh produce. I think people need to stop pooing in the fields. 

dating tip: don't

You inspire my inner serial killer.

When are you too old to wear low cut shirts? When your boobs look like baseballs at the end of a tube sock. 

Why do local news anchors out in the field always find the weirdest people to interview?

do u ever go on youtube just to watch a music video then 5 hours later u find yourself watching a tutorial on how to talk to a giraffe

Any bets? Will MA fall out of bed tonight, or walk into a wall when she wakes up disoriented?

Aaaaannnd then I woke up. Damn. 

What happens in Vegas doesn't always stay in Vegas. Time to call the doc. 

I don't understand how Super Mario can smash blocks with his head but dies when he touches a turtle.

My dog is dreaming and his legs are kicking and he's kicking himself in the face because his head is resting on his paws LOL

Kids are like Miniature Tornados with Mad Ninja Skills!!!

how does school expect me to choose a career path at 16 I can’t even choose what I want for dinner

I get too, to and two mixed up. Am I having two pieces of chocolates or to pieces of chocolate?

I know I look like a total twit when I'm singing in my car. 

I'm never watching another doctor show. Just saw a woman with a roach in her ear. Dear gawd.

Not finishing a sentence just to piss people off because you

I don't get the appeal of these weird shows..pawn stars, redneck towing shows, hillbilly's for hire..are u kidding me?