Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Twitter Wednesday!


Welcome to another Twitter Wednesday, where I pull some of the funniest tweets from my Twitter feed and post them here for you to read. As always I have left off the names and @'s so no one gets mad. :)

My characters need to sleep together. Seriously. It's time. Maybe I need to have the talk with them.

Looking forward to stealing my kids candy. LOL 

*bangs head against wall* 

Why is Bill O'Reilly still relevant? Why do people still listen to him? I don't get it.

When I was a kid I..... No wait, I still do that.

mom: how are your grades this semester?
me: mother what's important is that we have our health

Losing happens, I get it. But to go from 3-0, to looking not awake and running around with bellies full of Texas BBQ is like…wait, what?

There is a guy at Chipotle who looks so much like Harry Potter I want to take his picture

The most important thing I’ve learned from all my paranormal shows is this: Research the history of a house before buying it. ALWAYS.

Give me chocolate or give me death...erm...chocolate. 

If muslims can't see women because they wear burquas, how do they knew they're sexy and not ugly before they marry them?

I'm taking a sack for candy when I take my kid trick or treating. I bet people will give me candy. lol 

Don't be mad... I'm not anit-zombie... I'm just not watching The Walking Dead.... GASPS!~

My phone died today! It was officially Apocalyptic for me! The world was over and I had no where to turn!

I want to go to an adult trick or treat where we get sex toys instead of candy. 

Don't watch scary movies late at night and think you're getting any sleep..

There's no such thing as too much candy. 

I'm only 5'1". If I put on a mask people will think I'm a kid and give me candy. lol 

so what did I get after halloween last year? Diabeetus, I got diabeetus. Don't care, gimme candy. 

It's amazing how 5.2 billion cookies per second still isn't enough cookies. There's an economics lesson in this game somewhere.

I don't get why people are surprised when the world sucks sometimes. We had to squeeze through genitals to get here. Lower your expectations