Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Twitter Wednesday!

Welcome to another Twitter Wednesday, where I pull some of the funniest tweets from my Twitter feed and post them here for you to read. As always I have left off the names and @'s so no one gets mad. :)

Anyone else’s child have epic meltdowns from low blood sugar? Like, not a toddler, a kid. Tween. Teen. My god it’s awful when mine does.

Dear Arizona, We already had this conversation. You don’t get to decide who sits at the lunch counter. Love, America

When fictional characters are epic enough for their own twitter handle!

i need a two hour long hug

they've been home from school a little over an hour and I'm already agitated and pissed off.

So I'm a host now? Like my uterus is a place someone in congress will mandate I have to stash an exchange student or something?

Seriously, do they have Twitter in China? Because I'm going there next week and I don't think I can live without you western fuckers.

Frogs have it easy, they can eat what bugs them

i want to use my vagina photo as my new icon here

Not gonna lie I gagged at the cheese in the mouth scene in last night's Walking Dead. I know, no blood or gore but that's what got me.

when a guy wears that one cologne where all you want to do is bury your face in their chest and sniff because they smell that damn good

my neighbors are knocking on the walls. Soon I will knock back and see how they like it.

If this cricket doesn't shut the fuck up, I'm gonna shove his tiny umbrella up his tight cricket ass.

Hating people takes too much energy. I'm just going to pretend they're dead from now on.

it's funny how you can have friends and no friends at the same time

The neighbors are having a party. You know, socializing. You know, associating with others. You know, not sitting at home crying.