Monday, June 20, 2005

Embarassing Moment

I just hate having something really embarassing happen in a place that I frequent all the darn time. Ever since the operation and having this damn scar on my neck I haven't been able, no let me rephrase that...I havent felt comfortable going out in public. So rarely do I venture out these days. Not that I went out alot before, but now it's even less. But yesterday I wen to the grocery store to get a few things and for what ever reason ended up having a panic attack. I haven't had one in about a year and that's really good for me. I had Agoraphobia for years and sometimes it will creep back up on me. I think I felt the sweating and heart palpatations starting and was so scared I was going to have a panic attack that I brought one on. Well before I could get out to me car, cause I wanted to get done getting my stuff and I didn't want to look strange just leaving my cart there since I was already in line, so I stood there and stood there and it just happened. I couldn't catch my breath and hyperventalited so much especially after people started looking at me that I passed out. Good going mary. shesh.
The store manager called 911, oh god, and when I woke up I heard the sirens. Good grief why didn't I just leave?
I told the ambulance tech what happened and said I wasn't going to the hospital. I got home, I must have looked bad cause ken asked me what happened and I told him. He made me promise to call my doc tomorrow and make an appointment. Oh goody.
Dang, I don't think I'll ever be able to go in there again now.


  1. Mary luv...shit happens, to all of us. If I had a buck for every darn fool thing I've done in public I'd have enough cash to fly down there and run you around until ya got used to going out once again.
    I was getting anxiety attacks for a while after the heart surgery. One would bring on another and it seemed like it was falling into a vicious circle.
    Thankfully they stopped on thier own but once in a while I can feel one coming. It's hard as hell to do but what works for me is distracting myself. With anything. I found that the more I thought about what was coming the faster it got there.
    It's easy for folks to say...well, it doesn't matter what other folks think, just ignore them.. ya right. Very few of us don't care and those that don't are usually ignorant, amoral asses. Don' let your thoughts of other folks put you in trouble.
    Have ya tried any of the meds available these days?

  2. Yeah, I've tried alot of the meds. Right now I'm taking Adivan, Xanax, Atarax and Elexapro. lol
    But it's true the more ya think about one coming on, the faster they seem to come. I know I'm not the only one who has them but it sure feels like it sometimes. I think the meds have kept them at bay for a while and hopefully I won't have another one again for a long time.

  3. I have a friend that has panic attacks once in a while. Sometimes she'll come into work and her hands will be so shaky. I usually try to keep her smiling and do what I can to cheer her up and that sometimes helps. I've never been around her when she has had a real panic attack, but i've heard all about them, whenever she has had one, or thought she was going too.


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