Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Thoughts

Sometimes I think that I think to much. I seem to dwell on stuff a little to much. Maybe that's why I can't sleep, I don't know. I went to my Psychologists today and I think talking with her just brought up a whole lot of stuff that personally I would rather just forget. I havent spoke with my dad in a while, and I told him that I didn't want him in my life anymore. I feel guilty, but if he were just an acquaintance and not a family member I wouldnt have him anywhere near me and my family, he;s mean and he's a drunk and I can only take so much of him before I get mad and lash out. We fight constantly and i just don't see any reason to keep doing that. So I made a decision not not talk with him anymore. I know that sounds terrible, but he just got out of jail again for beating my step mom up and frankly I can't handle being around them any longer. She won't leave him and I've done all I can do. They are stessing me out way to much, so I'm letting that stress go. I just wish I didn't feel so bad about it.

4 comments:

  1. I tend to dwell on things too much also, Mary. I get some thoughts in my head that just repeat over and over again. I sometimes also tend to think over and over about things I want to say to people, and yet they still come out wrong. Sometimes. I tell people now that thinking is bad for my health. As for the other thing, I wouldn't want to talk to anyone like that either. Its hard enough talking to some of the people I do now, without wishing I could shove their heads through a brick wall. But thats just me.

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  2. Sometimes all we can do is try and not dwell too much and let the thoughts go...easier said than done though.

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  3. Yeah, I can agree with that. I have managed to let a few things go, but other things seem to have snuck in and taken their place. But I have more important things to think about right now.

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  4. Oh I feel bad for my step mom but she won't leave. Even my mother told her she could stay with her for a while but she won't leave, there's nothing else I can do.

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