Sunday, June 03, 2012

Are You A Marsupial?

If the answer is no and you don't carry around a huge purse big enough to carry a gallon of milk and a loaf of bread probably expect to get a plastic or paper bag when you buy those things. Right?

So then why do the cashier's or bag people ask the silly question, "Would you like a bag with that?" Like we're going to suddenly stop, take notice of our empty hands and say, "Why no, I think I'll try to carry the milk by the handle even though it's 45F outside and the milk is freezing cold and I might have frost bite by the time I get home, but please don't let that stop you from asking me if I want a bag with that." Not to mention the poor loaf of bread is going to be a squished mess by the time we get it home after having to juggle the freezing cold milk from one hand to another and try to make sure the bread doesn't get squashed in the process.

So cashiers and bag people, here's a little heads up for you.
1. If I don't have my own reusable bags with me.
2. I am not carrying a purse big enough to store the titanic in.
3. I don't look like a Kangaroo with a pouch to carry my groceries in.
4. My entire purchase consists of a pack of chewing gum or a pack of breath mints.

Please don't ask if I want a bag with that. Because of course I want a bag with that. That's how we carry our groceries home.

Is this not common sense?

Do you get charged for each bag you give away to a customer or something? Have you given the bags names and are sad to see them go? Have you had a bad bag experience and touching the plastic gives you PTSD type symptoms and you're afraid you'll lose your mind in front of me? No? Then what the heck is the problem..just bag up my groceries and let me walk out without asking me if I would like a bag..because of course I want a bag.

Now in the event you get one of these weirdo, "I'm not giving you a bag unless you beg me for one" type of cashiers...please do the following when they ask if you'd like a  bag with that.

Lean over very slowly into their space and whisper to them, "The bags come alive and smother you in your sleep, don't they? That's the only reason I can think of that you'd ask me if I want a bag for my groceries. I'm right aren't I?" Then look the person up and down and shake your head as he hands your bagged groceries to you. As you are walking away you should also turn around and hold up the bag for him to see and point at it and then at him and then just quietly walk out of the store like nothing has happened.

The next time you go in the store, go to the same checker...I can almost guarantee they won't ask you if you want a bag with that.

1 comment:

  1. If it's more than I can carry, I want a bag!


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