Auto Volume Control

I am so sick of sitting down in front of the tv to watch a movie or even a show and when those ridiculously loud commercials come on, go scrambling with the remote to turn them down. Or every few minutes having to turn the volume up and then back down again the whole time I’m watching tv. If car manufacturers can put cruise control right into the cars, tv manufacturers should be able to build auto volume control into the damn tv’s. One minute I’ll be watching a really soft moment where you have to turn the volume waaay up and 2 seconds later, a bomb goes off in the background and my walls start shaking with the noise before I can turn the volume back down.

I don’t even like watching movies anymore because for 2 hours I am sitting there controlling the volume…up and down..up..down..and then I’m not fast enough and a loud *BOOM!* gets through, making my neighbors just love me. A commercial will suddenly come on while watching a show and it will be loud as hell…WTF? If so sick of it.

Take a hamster vacation!

You can read my newest article here about how a hotel in France let's guests spend a night as a hamster. Including letting them run in a giant hamster wheel. Seriously...Let me know what you think. Would you spend time at this hotel? Do you think more places to cater to animal lover's this way?

Liars

I don't understand why some people think they have to lie about everything in their lives...all the time. Are they looking for attention? Empathy? or just like to make things up? Maybe they have a mental disorder that makes them think they have to make things up in order to have people accept them?

I don't know and I don't know how to deal with it. For me personally, I hate liars or people who take a simple statement and have to embellish it so it sounds better than the truth.

For me, I can put up with a lot, but for some reason being lied to just rubs me the wrong way and it really makes me mad.

I would confront the person if I thought it would do any good...but unless I can catch them in a lie that I can prove is false...what's the point.

TV Series

With so many of the tv series being cancelled this year that I liked, I started thinking back to some of the other tv series that got cancelled that I used to really like.

Beauty and the beast
Surface
Withchblade
Moonlight
Forever Knight
ER
Buffy the Vampire slayer
Angel
My Own worst enemy
Stargate Atlantis
Terminator: The Sarah Connor chronicles
Without a Trace
Ghost whisperer
Firefly

Gosh there have been so many great tv series that have been cancelled that I just can't think of them all, but I know this year it seems like there have been alot of them.

Ghost whisperer
Numbers
Law and order
Mercy
Trauma
all gone as of this season.

I still watch shows like:
Smallville, Medium, NCIS, Law and Order SVU, Criminal Minds, Stargate Universe, Vampire Diaries and Fringe.

Review- Flirt by Laurell K. Hamilton

Flirt by Laurell. K. Hamilton
5 out of 5 stars















I have been a huge fan of Laurell K. Hamilton's books since I first found them. While I felt Hamilton lost ground with the last book, Skin Trade, this one takes things back to the writing and storyline that made me want to read her books in the first place.

I read the Hardcover version which held 192 pages. While I wish she would make all the books as long as Skin Trade and have all the meat in the books, that isn't always possible. But I can wish.

Anita meets with a woman who wants her to reanimate her dead husband so she can take a horrendous revenge out on him. Anita flatly refuses. Anita also has a client who wants her to reanimate his deceased wife and when she turns him down, he reacts badly and has her kidnapped.

About halfway through the book, I realized where the title of the book comes in. There is flirting going on all the time. Especially in a restaurant scene where the waiter gets tongue tied and flirts with her and one of the men at the table with her.

At the end of the book there is a comic strip that one of Ms. Hamilton's friends did for her, where we find out that this restaurant scene actually happened to her and her friends in real life and that's where she got her inspiration from.

All in all, I really enjoyed this book much more than the last one, even if it wasn't as long as I would have liked it to be.

This weeks freebies

So far this week I’ve received:
Coupon for free Mac and cheese
Coupon for free Chavrie Goat cheese
Nursing Pad cold pack- can be used as just a cold pack for any aching muscle.
Stop Grinding teeth guard
Aveda Shampoo and conditioner
Pantene shampoo and conditioner
$1.00 off coupon for any 1 suave professionals
Box of samples which included: coupon for free lunchmeat
4 sample packs of wheat thins
3 samples of caramel vanilla coffee

American Idol

Lee Won!

I don't know how many of you are Idol fan's, but I am. I've been watching it since it came on 9 seasons ago. This was also Simon Cowell's last day on Idol. I am still wondering who they will get to replace him. I really hope they don't screw up again like they did when they added Ellen. She really brings nothing to the show. I can only imagine who they will get to replace Simon.

Review of- Skin Trade by Laurell K. Hamilton

Skin Trade
Laurell K. Hamilton
4 Stars





I've been reading the Anita Blake Vampire Hunter series since it came out and for the most part I've loved it. There have been one book here and there that hasn't made the cut at least to me and I hate to say it but this is one of those books.

After 17 books in this series, you have to imagine that not all the books are going to appeal to everyone. This one starts out much like the other books in this series do. Anita is The Executioner in this book and is tracking down a serial killer vampire, Vittorio. She is joined in Las Vegas by her friend Edward AKA Ted as well as Bernardo and Otto Aka Olaf.

I was ready for a wonderful book full of mind blowing sex, plenty of action, great dialog, camaraderie, suspense, as well as the great characters Asher, Jean-Claude, Micah and the rest that we are familiar with.

Instead I got some weird interaction between Anita and Olaf, which for the record I did not like. Olaf is a serial killer and makes Anita nervous but she was also strangely attracted to him.

There was very little sex and one time when it did happen Anita goes to sleep next to two men and wakes up after having an orgy in her room with no memory. There was no flashes of memory to tell us what happened during said orgy, so we didn't get a glimpse into it at all. But when she wakes up she finds that she had a 16 year old boy in her bed. That I found quite disgusting.

The book was long, 486 pages long and I'd have to say that less than half was even good. I would love to see Laurell K. Hamilton write the way she did when she first started this series. I miss the hot erotic sex scenes all through the books, I miss the action scenes where Anita is kicking ass and isn't tired of killing the bad guys. I really want her to get back to the main characters and back into her relationship with them. I want to see more Jean-Claude, Asher, Micah and Jason. As well as the other men she is having a relationship with along with them.

Will this short fall with this book keep me from reading her next book? No, I have become a fan of the Anita Blake and Merry Gentry Series and I will keep buying and reading the books probably until the series ends because most of the books are really good.

Is it really News?

I really don't like watching or reading the news. I get calls now and again from the NY Post wanting me to subscribe to their newspaper and when I say I'm not interested they ask stupid questions like, "Well how do you get your news?"

My answer..."I don't."

And that's actually the truth. I do not like watching the news and I haven't read a newspaper in years. But that brings up an interesting question...What is newsworthy? Not half the things I see on the news when ken is watching it. I do hear the news from time to time when Ken has it on and I happen to be in the same room with him. That's actually enough of the news for me.

There's hardly ever anything worth watching on the news anymore. If I want to really know something, I'll Google it.

This morning on the news while Ken was watching it I saw they were talking about Tiger Woods Mistress is going to be posing for Playboy. Ok, so what? Who cares? Is that really newsworthy? I don't think so. I think things like that should stay in those celebrity gossip mags like, Star and The Globe. I know I don't care and it's not really news.

I don't care how many times Lindsay Lohan has been drunk this week, or how many shots Britney Spears had with some guy last night. That is not news!

The oil spill, 911, people getting robbed and shot in my neighborhood, is crime up in my local area....that is news.

My End Of Week Update

So in the middle of this week I posted that I had gotten a bunch a great things from contests, sample websites ect. Well I now have even more to add to that list.

Cassandra Curtis, over on her blog held a Grab Bag contest and I won a bunch of books from that contest. http://cassandracurtis.com/blog Thank you Cass!

I got a $5 gift card to Walmart because they are opening up a new store near me and want people to come visit.

I received a free sample of Nestea tea bags, 2 Downy dryer sheets and 1 sample of a paper towel.

Now I'm ready for next week. :)

25 Things About Me

My friend over at http://nosuchthingas2manybooks.blogspot.com/ (There's No Such Thing As Too Many Books) shared this on their blog and I decided to play along!
25 Things About Me

1. Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed? Closed. I don't like seeing shadows in the dark from the closet.

2. Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotels? Yes, why not they come in handy later on.

3. Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out? I am warm all night..ok, during the day even in the winter. So while my sheets are tucked in around me, my bedroom has to be kept cool so I can do that.

4. Would you rather be attacked by a bear or a swarm of bees? Bee's? No, not bee's. I would rather be eaten alive by a bear than to even hear a bee.

5. Do you have freckles? Yep, sure do. A few on my face, my back and on my arms. But the funny thing is the ones on my left arm are kinda in the shape of the Milky Way..I have the little and Big Dipper on my arm. lol

6. What is your biggest pet peeve? Liars.

7. Have you ever peed in the woods? Yes, Camping and then out in the desert when I was a kid because my dad wouldn't stop at a fast food place for me and my brother to go. So out in the woods we'd go.

8. Do you ever dance if there’s no music playing? No, I don't dance...ever.

9. Do you chew your pens and pencils? No!

10. Is it okay for guys to wear pink? Yes, as long as it's not a pink dress or something...lol

11. What do you dip a chicken nugget in? Nothing. I do not like dipping sauce and dipping them in ranch is just gross.

12. What is your favorite food? Just one? I have to pick just one? Ok, Mexican food.

13. What movies could you watch over and over and still love? Fright Night, Queen of the Damned, Twilight, Dracula 2000, most other vampire films.

14. Were you ever a boy/girl scout? No.

15. Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine? I might. For the right price. lol

16. Can you change the oil on a car? Yes I do. I take it down to the mechanics and they do it for me. lol

17. Ever gotten a speeding ticket? No.

18. Ever ran out of gas? Not while I was driving, but I have come pretty close.

19. Are you lazy? No, when something needs to be done I want to get it done right now.

20. When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween? This is a funny question for me because every year I wore the same witch's costume when I was a kid. At first I remember the costume being too big, but back then the masks had a rubber band on the back of them to hold them on your head and the costume itself was made from platic, so it was easy to tape up and let it out as I got older.

21. How many languages can you speak? One. But I do know. Yo Quiero Taco Bell? In spanish...lol

22. Who is better…Leno or Letterman? Leno, I think he is funnier.

23. Do you sing in the car? Yes, but only if I wam by myself.

24. Ever eat a pierogi? Yes, I've had a potato Pierogi and didn't like it.

25. First concert? I've never actually been to a live concert because I don't like crwods. I'd much rather watch it on TV.

How To Fake it

No, I'm not talking about that! Get yur heads out of the gutter, ya bunch of pervs. lol
I'm actually talking to the depressed people out there, that are constantly asked things like, "Why don't you smile more?" or, "Is something wrong?" or "What is wrong, why are you depressed?" or "Can I do something to make you feel better?" You know all our family members, friends, co-workers, passerbys, people we come into contact with, people on the train, bus ect...

When a person is dealing with depression it's hard to put on a smile, it's really hard. But when we don't we constaly have people asking us if there's something they did wrong, if there's something they can do to make us feel better, they want to know what's wrong even when we don't know ourselves. And people who don't understand that cannot take what we are saying at face value.

Sometimes when a person is depressed they really do not know why they are depressed, they just are.

But, if you don't want to have to deal with the incessant worrying from others about how we are, there is something you can do. You can fake it.

You heard me right, just fake a smile, a laugh, a happy face.

When I was 18 years old I had a therapist tell me that if I didn't want to deal with people constantly asking what was wrong, that I should put on a facade.

What is a facade? Think of it like one of the beautiful Las vegas Hotels we have here. The front of the some of the buildings might looks like castles or Lions...but that's just a fake front of the building. The building isn't really a castle that you can go into. It's made with a special material just to look like a castle...it's a facade or fake front.

That's what you can do, fake it, put on a facade with your feelings, facial expressions, laughter..ect.

I've been doing it for more than 20 years and it works. I stopped feeling really happy quite some time ago. Most times I don't feel much of anything and it shows. I don't cry at weddings, funerals or at times when I should. I just don't feel it. I don't feel empathy for people, I can't empathize with you about how screwed up something is in your life. I know I should but it's just not there. I shut my feelings off a long time ago so I wouldn't be hurt anymore and for the most part I feel very little.

Sure there are times that I get depressed, but because it irritates me so much when people ask me what's wrong, I don't let my depression show on the out side. I put on a facade. I smile, I laugh, I talk about stupid trivial things even when I feel like punching the person in the face. Yes, I still get very angry at times.

Sometimes it actually works the way that therapist was hoping it would and all that fake smiling, laughing ect...will end up in a good or pleasant mood or something nice happeneing. It happens.

So if you are like me, put on a facade and fake it. People will stop asking you, "What's wrong?" because they will think nothings wrong.

I've had a good week

Anyone who knows me knows that I am really big into the sample scene. Which means I am constanly going after samples of ...well whatever. I have found some really good sample websites that let you know where all the great samples are.

I am also seriously into romance novels as well as horror movies. This week I've had an enormous amount of samples sent to me as well as won some great stuff from contests I've entered.

So far this week I've gotten:

A large box of NTC (Nestle Tasters Choice) coffee. I am a Brand ambassador for NTC so they send me samples to share with my friends and family.

I was picked from a survey to do a product test on two full size bottles of a household product that I am not allowed to tell anyone the name of. lol But I will tell you that it's something I can use. :)

I won an e-book. The ESP Affair By Alison Tyler. Thanks Alison!
Won a paperback Novel by Kate Walker. Thanks Kate!
I won a banana nut bread scented candle.

I got a ton of samples this week too. Cascade dishwasher detergent, tampons, pads, dog food, free Kashi Cereal, Pantene shampoo and conditioner, Nivea lotion, Green tea and a sample of special K cereal.

I also noticed that I have made almost $1000 from the articles I've had published through Associated Content. And you can find the latest articles on the right hand side of this blog. :)

So all in all not a bad week at all and the week isn't even over yet. :)

Harry Connick Jr. On Idol...

So I will admit I watch American Idol and I like it. i don't care what anyone says, it's a good show. Sure the singers aren't as good this season as in past seasons but they last few that are left are pretty good.

Now this week's mentor was harry Connick Jr...who sings old time songs that I frankly cannot stand. But I watched it ebcause I wanted to see how the contestants would do with Frank Sinatra songs.

Frankly I think they should do away with this type of song in the competition because most people do not listen to this type of music anymore and it really did nothing for the performers.

I also want to say what an ass Harry Connick Jr is...his huge ego showed up everytime he was on the screen. In what he said, to how he joked around with the contestants to how he was on stange singing on wednesday.

If I didn't NOt like him before, I sure would after his appearance on Idol this week. What an ass.

Vampires, Werewolves and Demons Oh My!

Looks like my computer is working for now. I have a feeling that I still have some sort of a virus on this thing and will be running the long all day scan tomorrow. But now onto some better news.

In the past two weeks I've read some great, great books and wanted to share them with you. If you like Werewolves, Vampires or Demons...in romance you are going to love these.

Pride Mates by Jennifer Ashley
From the Back Cover...

To most, they are animals- even when in human form. They are to be collared and kept on the fringes of society, scorned because they are feared, hated for their extraordinary powers. And DA Kim Fraser has to go right into the heart of their lair.

It's her job to defend those in need. But there's absolutely nothing defenseless about Liam Morrissey. His soft Irish lilt and feline grace can't disguise his sheer strength. Nor can the silver chain at his throat, designed to control the aggression of his kind, completely reassure her that this man has been tamed.

Bride of the Wolf by Susan Krinard
From the back cover,...

Rachel Lyndon yearns to escape her scandalous past, but her dreams for a better life seems ruined after she buries her fiance on the Texas Plains.

heath Renier has been evading the law by the skin of his teeth for years. Now he's found a new identity as holden Renshaw, foreman of Dog Creek Ranch. But the arrival of the boss man's mail-order bride, now a widow, upsets his fragile peace and threatens to expose his deadly secrets.

Rachel knowsthat the mysterious and savagely handsome Holden is the last man she should trust-especially since she's seen glimpses of his true nature.

First Drop of Crimson by Jeaniene Frost

From the back cover...

The night is not dafe for mortals. Denise MacGregor knows all too well what lurks in the shadows-her best friend is half -vampire Cat Crawford- and she has already lost more than the average human could bear. But her family's past is wrapped in secrets and shrouded in darkness- and a demon shapeshifter has marked Denise as prey. Now her survival depends on an immortal who lusts for a taste of her.

Pleasure Unbound by Larissa Ione

From the back Cover...

Tayla Mancuso is a demon-slayer who hungers for sensual pleasure-but fears it will always be denied her. Until she lands in a hospital run by demons in disguise, and the head doctor, Eidolon, makes her body burn with unslakable desire. But to prove her ultimate loyalty to ehr peers, she must betray the surgeon who saved her life.

Eidolon cannot resist this fiery, dangerous woman who fills him with both rage and passion. Not only is she his avowed enemy, but she could very well be the hunter who has been preying upon his people.

The Mammoth book of Vampire Romance 2
25 short stories of hot blood, midnight pleasures and inhuman passion. From authors like Jennifer Ashley, Dawn Cook, Caitlin Kittredge, Devon Monk and many more.

From the back cover...

This bloodthirsty collection of vampire romance includes thrilling new stories from bestselling and award-winning authors such as Jordan Summer, Jaye Wells, Larissa Ione, Jeanne C. Stein and Deborh Cooke. You'll encounter gothic romance and gritty contemporary tales of urban vampire love, from stand alone short stories to well loved (and feared) characters from established series.

These vampires are ruthless but tortured, paranormally sensitive and sexually mesmerizing.

Been gone for a while

So as you have noticed I've been gone for a while. First I was having or I should say I am still having some problems with computer viruses. We thought we got rid of the virus that stopped our computer from running right and now it's doing the same things it was doing before. I'll be online and all of the sudden my window will disappear.

Now it's doing the same thing after having had a virus scan on my computer and getting rid of a rootkit virus and several trojans on my computer. I may just stop using the computer for a while I'm not sure yet.

Borders Book Store

I went to Borders today and bought a few books. All Romance books of course. But I had to tell this story because it was just too funny.

So I was gathering my books, I bought 5 of them and was looking at Laurel K. Hamilton's books when 2 little old ladies- I think they were about 70 years old...came over to where I was looking and picked up a Vampire book. One lady says to the other, "Oh you have to read this one, it was sooo good." And she gave it to her friend.

Then next thing I hear is...

"OMG, this is making me horny." As the lady reads the back of the book.

They both look behind them and smile at me and ask me, "Do you like Vampire books?"
Of course I answer, "Why yes I do." She holds up the book and I tell her that I already have all of them in that series so far.

I asked her if she has read any of Christine Feehan's books and she said no. So I went and picked out Dark Prince and gave it to her. She read the back and said..."Oh my, I'm getting horny."
The other little old lady reads the back of the book and says she doesn't have any man at home, her husband died ten years earlier but she does have batteries for the 'you know'.

All I wanted to do was get the hell out of there at this point. I am not going to stand around a book store talking to two elderly women about how horny the books make them and how many batteries their vibrators take.

So I smiled and told them to enjoy the books, and I went to pay for my books. As I walked out of the isle I was in, a young men who worked there smiled at me and nodded his head to the little old ladies and said, "They come in at least once a month." and started laughing. So they must talk like that all the time.

omg...

What is Vajazzling?

I was going to publish this article I wrote, on Associated Content but they declined it because they said it was either too pornographic or the idea behind this content was obscene. So all you readers get a freebie article. lol

I had to write about this and share it because, really...who is going to vajazzle their privates? Not me.



On a recent episode of The George Lopez Show, Jennifer Love Hewitt announced that she Vajazzles regularly to feel good about her privates. So what exactly is a vajazzle?

What is Vajazzle
It’s pretty much exactly what it sounds like it would be. It’s kind of like bedazzling for female genetalia. Completely Bare in NYC is where the vajazzle got started. They called it “Completely Bare With A Flair” before everyone coined the term ‘vajazzle’ after hearing the term from Jennifer Love Hewitt.

How Does One Get Vajazzled?
First you have to find a spa or parlor that knows about this fairly new concept in bejeweling your private areas. That’s the hard part and once that’s done, it’s fairly easy.

First the person doing the vajazzling has to wax the region so the crystals and rhinestones have a smooth surface to stick to. Then the area is cleansed to remove any remaining wax. Then dependant on the kind of art work you want done, the Swarovski crystals may come on sheets where intricate designs are all ready to be applied and can be lifted all at once and applied to the area wanted. The sheets of crystals are held in the vajazzler’s hands so the adhesive warms up and will stick to the skin.

Other designs are made by applying the crystals one at a time after the adhesive has been heated by the hands of the person applying them.

How Long does a Vajazzle last and how much does it cost?
A vajazzle can last anywhere from 4-7 days and Completely Bare Spa said they were only charging $50 for a Vajazzle.

According to emmagem.com, while on the George Lopez show, Jennifer Love Hewitt said, “After I broke up with my ­boyfriend a friend Swarovski-crystalled my ­precious lady and it shined like a disco ball. Women should vajazzle their va-jay-jays!”

While sparkling ‘down there’ may seem like a strange idea to some, it seems to be all the rage to others. I’ve personally heard of trimming terms like ‘landing strip’ which to me looks like you just missed a spot. Or the ‘Brazilian’ which makes me cringe when thinking of the hot wax and all that ripping.

For those of us that don’t want to embarrass ourselves by crying and screaming in front of a stranger as the waxing is done. The DIY vajazzle kits from Pubic Pampering is the next best thing.

How did I end up with Rats?

This is Romi, our first rat. Although she died quite a while ago she will always be remembered in all the photos we took of her.

We had several hamsters at the time we adopted Romi, in fact I wasn't even looking to adopt a rat. I had never even had a rat or considered adopting a rat. I have always been a hamster or mouse girl.

But that all changed when my neighbor moved in a few doors away from us and because really good friends with us. His girlfriend at the time had bought two rats and gave one to him. He really liked Romi and when she was smaller she would ride around in his large pants pockets. You know the kind that are all the rage these days on those huge baggie pants. Pockets large enough to fit a small trailer into...lol

She would poke her little head out, he would give her a sunflower seed and she would burrow back down in the pocket. He let Romi roam the couch and she never jumped ontot he floor. But he worked alot and she wasn't getting enough attention.

Ken told me that she would run over to the front of the cage whenever they came into the apartment and she wanted human company and one day while Ken was playing with Romi his friend asked him if he wanted to take her home. He thought about for a minute and said yeah, Mary will love her.

He gave us Romi, the cage, food and bedding. I'd never had a rat and I thought her tail was really going to ick me out, but it's alot softer than it looks and she was so sweet, and loved to be held played with, petted and loved our company.

After a couple of years though she started getting sick and I read everything I could on the internet and asked several vet's what I could do for her. It was then that I learned that rats live about as long as hamsters do. Only about 4-5 years, hamster living about 3-4 years.

Romi was already 3 years old and could not eat the hard seeds anymore. She didn't have the strength to crack them open. So I started feeding her the human foods that I read were alright to feed her. Scrambled eggs, cooked chicken, fruits vegies and of all things canned dog and cat food. She didn't care for the cat foods but she loved the Mighty Dog canned dog food. She also loved the jars of baby food.

She lived another 18 months eating those foods, but in the picture you can see how she was so old she started losing the hair on her nose and head.

In the last few months she just wanted to be held all the time. So we would all take turns holding her on a small towel and wrapping her in it so just her little head was peeking out and she would sleep in our arms until she was wanting something to eat or a drink of water and we would put her in her cage to do that and go to the bathroom. Most times she would just right back up on top of her house and start nudging the top of the cage open telling us she wanted to come back out and we would let her out

She was so spoiled but loved alot. She died one day while I was holding her in my arms. I had every intention of taking her to the vet's office and having her put to sleep but they said as long as she was eating, drinking and didn't seem like she was in pain, there was no need to euthanize her yet.

Then one day she had a seizure while sleeping in my arms and she died.

It's strange how some animals will go so fast while others will have a long lingering illness, and have to be euthanized but you just don't want to see them suffer. I'm glad she went as fast as she did.

But soon after she died we decided that we wanted more rats. She had been our first and we didn't want her to be our last, she showed us how loving and great a pet rat really was.

We can here you...on your cell phone

I wonder sometimes about the human race....because if the people I keep running into are anything to go by, we are all doomed. Seriously.

Last week I was in the grocery store, going about my own shopping..not talking on any cell phones where anyone could hear me...Because I don't have a cell phone.

Anyway, this woman was slowly meandering up and down the isles with her cart, all the time talking on her cell phone. Loudly. First, there's no need for everyone in a 3 mile radius to hear what you are talking about. Frankly Norma, we don't care what you had for dinner or what your best friend yelled out during sex last night. We really don't.

*From here on out I'll call dumbshit on the cell phone, Norma.*

So Norma is walking up and down the isles not really even putting much into her cart, but talking very loudly about how she and her husband like to 'experiment' with different positions in bed.
*I can't make this stuff up people*

Norma tells her friend on the phone that her husband is so 'big', *Yes, she said 'Big' louder than anything else in that sentence. She really wanted us to know her husband wasn't a pencil dick*
that he actually hurt her when he started going to town.

"ponders whether "going to town" is a euphemism for rough sex" I think it is...

Norma then laughed at something her friend on the phone said and as I walked past her I noticed a man behind her staring at her ass.

"I believe he was thinking about going to town." But I could be wrong. *shruggs*

I made my way out of the store, went home and tried to clear that conversation from my mind. But I don't believe there's a way to take back somethings that's already been introduced to your ears...unless you use a sharp pencil to dig it out...But I wasn't quite at that point...yet!

Another time I was in the doctors office waiting for my name to be called and this guy started talking to his friend on his cell phone. Now I was under the belief that people were suppossed to take their phones outside to talk, but he didn't.

He started telling his friend on the phone that yeah, he had a big one that the doc was gonna have to clean out because he couldn't reach it this time...it was on his ass. Oh and it really hurts when the nasty smelling pus comes shooting out of it.

*gag*
I looked at him, gave him the "if you don't shut the hell up I'm going to stuff my purse so far down your throat you'll have to sh*t it out in order to remove it...look" But he just kept talking.

If you find yourself in a social situation with any of these people...run! Run as fast and as far away as you can before you hear what they have to say to the person on the other end of their iphone. Because if you don't you might just regret it, like I did.