Saturday, March 16, 2013

Have You Ever Gone On A Double Date?

I was thinking back to when I was a teenager and some of the stupid things I've done and one memory popped into my head that made me one and only double date.

When I was 17 years old I lived in Guyandotte, West Virginia. It's a little town near Charleston, West Virginia. It had a flood wall all the way around the town because we were so near the Ohio River and if it started to flood the town they closed the gates and you were either trapped inside the gates or trapped outside the gates until the gates were opened again.

I lived there for a year and in that time the flood gates were never closed so I'm guessing it didn't happen very often.

So I was in High School while there and one of my friends asked me if I would go on a double date with her and her boyfriend and his friend. I thought sure, why not what could go wrong?

I thought she was such a nice girl and we would have a nice time. I thought we would go to the movies or something, I didn't think to ask what we would be doing.

The three of them picked me up in her car and introduced me to my date...Alfred. Alfred was 18 years old about 5'9" and had the biggest afro I've ever seen on a white guy. But he seemed nice enough and my girlfriend Breanne asked him if he would drive so she and he boyfriend David could sit together in the back seat. So I'm sitting in the front seat with Alfred and we start driving around when David pulls out a bag with 2 6 packs of beer in it. I didn't drink and thankfully neither did Alfred but Breanne and David did. A few minutes later we pull over at a gas station and Alfred informs us that he has to call his mother every hour until 10pm when he has to go home..O.o So he got out and called her.

I had to be home at midnight and everyone else said they could go home whenever they wanted. So we drove around and were making our way to a park when I hear weird noises coming from the back seat..I turn around to find my friend Breanne and her boyfriend having sex in the back seat...Holy cripes! I'm beyond embarrassed but Alfred tells me that she does this every time she fixes him on a double date.

So after stopping at the park for an hour we head back to a gas station so Alfred can call his mom and check in. It's almost 10pm and he says he has to go home and I figured that they would take me home too. instead after we drop Alfred off they stop down the street and pick up Danny, who is now supposed to be my date...O.o

Danny is 18 and already half lit up and takes a beer as soon as he gets in the car. Danny is sitting in the front with me and he is driving..I would have offered to drive since I was the only one not drinking but I didn't know how and didn't have my license. I didn't realize how drunk Danny was until we are driving down the street and he takes out several mail boxes and a wooden fence as we are driving down the street. I want to get out of the car and go home but my mom is home and she doesn't drive so I am on my own.

We make our way to another park and they agree to wait there for a little while until they sober up a little. Thankfully I spotted a pay phone by the restrooms and call my mom to tell her I'm not going to make it home by midnight. I let her know everyone is too drunk to drive and how we took out a fence and some mail boxes and really don't want to get in the car with these idiots until they can drive without taking out another fence.

When I get back to the car Breanne and David are having sex in the back seat again and Danny is standing out side the car laughing at them. When I get over to him he asks me if I 'put out'..I assure him that we are not having sex and he lost interest in me a little while later I find him passed out in the front seat so I go and sit down by the pond but where I can still see the car in case these idiots wake up and decide to take off without me.

It took about 2 hours for them to wake back up and be sober enough to drive me home. I never did speak to Breanne after that.