Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Thoughts

Sometimes I think that I think to much. I seem to dwell on stuff a little to much. Maybe that's why I can't sleep, I don't know. I went to my Psychologists today and I think talking with her just brought up a whole lot of stuff that personally I would rather just forget. I havent spoke with my dad in a while, and I told him that I didn't want him in my life anymore. I feel guilty, but if he were just an acquaintance and not a family member I wouldnt have him anywhere near me and my family, he;s mean and he's a drunk and I can only take so much of him before I get mad and lash out. We fight constantly and i just don't see any reason to keep doing that. So I made a decision not not talk with him anymore. I know that sounds terrible, but he just got out of jail again for beating my step mom up and frankly I can't handle being around them any longer. She won't leave him and I've done all I can do. They are stessing me out way to much, so I'm letting that stress go. I just wish I didn't feel so bad about it.

5 comments:

  1. I tend to dwell on things too much also, Mary. I get some thoughts in my head that just repeat over and over again. I sometimes also tend to think over and over about things I want to say to people, and yet they still come out wrong. Sometimes. I tell people now that thinking is bad for my health. As for the other thing, I wouldn't want to talk to anyone like that either. Its hard enough talking to some of the people I do now, without wishing I could shove their heads through a brick wall. But thats just me.

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  2. Sometimes all we can do is try and not dwell too much and let the thoughts go...easier said than done though.

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  3. Yeah, I can agree with that. I have managed to let a few things go, but other things seem to have snuck in and taken their place. But I have more important things to think about right now.

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  4. Ya can't pick your family. Whoever said blood is thicker than water must have meant from a medical and physical point of view because family can do such horrid thoughtless things to one another, thnigs they would not do to a stranger for the simple reason because we are family we are expected to just take it.
    Bullshit.
    Ya did the right thing. No one needs that kinda grief. The only reason I'd be feeling a tad quilty over is the woman he's beating on.

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  5. Oh I feel bad for my step mom but she won't leave. Even my mother told her she could stay with her for a while but she won't leave, there's nothing else I can do.

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