Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Do you ever feel like you're all alone?

I ask because I remember when I was back in high school and I was so shy and would spend the majority of my time alone in the library, just reading everything I could get my hands on. But always alone and felt like no one understood me and never would.

I kept a journal of my thoughts and last year I went through my 30 different journals that I had written during that bleak time in my life and decided to destroy them all. I know what I was feeling back then and now I know why and I know how to get out of those deep, dark funks when they come along.

I don't neen anyone else reading what I was thinking and if anything ever happened to me my family might have read them and I didn't want that so I destroyed all of them.

What I didn't know then was that I was suffereing from a clinical imbalance and it cause a really bad depression in me. I also had a thyroid problem which went untreated for 20 years and that caused all sorts of depression problems for me.

Now that the chemicals in my body are finally working right I can see how easy it is to fall into a depression or get depressed and I fight every single day not to let that happen again. It must also be some sort of hereditary issue because 2 of my brothers, my mom and my sister have all tried to commit suicide and are all dealing with depression. So I'm thinking there has to be some sort of 'depression' gene in my family.

Now I think how in this morld of millions of people is it so easy for some of us to feel completely alone, like no one else in the world understand what we are feeling.

I think now that we have the internet it has really helped with depression issues because we can reach out to others without actually having to see them face to face and for alot of people talking face to face with others is harder than typing to some unknown face on the internet. It's easier to talk to people who are'nt looking directly at you and knowing that you can get up and walk away from the conversation and not talk to that person again if that's what you want to do.

It's also easier to find others who feel the same way we do, even if we think we are the only one's in the whole world who are feeling the way we are at this moment.

So whether you are depressed, shy or just feel alone. Believe me, you are not the only one feeling that way and talking to others who feel the way you do can really be helpful.


  1. Thank you for this post. In the midst of a pretty bleak and stressful winter, I really appreciated reading your words.

  2. I'm glad you found it helpful.


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